Oct 24, 2020 (Diary Entry) (No snooping, darling.)

10/24/20 (Fake Diary Entry)
(This entry follows the format of the interview I posted before.)
First of all, go away, darling.
Second, if you are still there, really go away.
---
Elle twisted the bracelet on her hand.
Raven: Be careful, dear. Do not lose it. Steph stole our bracelets fresh out of a Gucci bag.
Elle: Riiiight.
Farrah adjusted her beanie.
Farrah: Gucci? Never heard of her.
Raven: Darling, that is because you prefer to play it simple and casual.
Tammie: I also like playing it casual.
Raven: No, you are playing it edgy.
Farrah: Mm-hm.
Elle: Mmkaaaaay.
Raven: Tammie, how far are we from our destination?
Tammie: Not very far.
Raven: Good.
I leaned on the backseat and looked out the limo window.
Raven: Stephie, dear, what is on your mind? Just because your chair is beside the driver seat, which Tammie has occupied, does not mean you can be quiet.
Steph: Oh, uh, where is Debbie?
Farrah: Deb said she will do some incognito shopping.
Tammie: How is she gonna pull off incognito shopping?
Farrah: She is into Dungeons and Dragons lately, so she is just gonna embrace her geeky self and act innocent.
Steph: Uh, why is she shopping?
Elle: Because she wants this delicious packet of egg cakes.
Raven: Does the restaurant we are heading to not serve egg cakes?
Elle: Special egg cakes, know what I am saying?
Steph: Is it not, um, expensive tho--
Elle: (shouting) Tammie, stop!
Tammie stomped on the brakes.
Tammie: Yes?
Elle: Abort! Abort!
Tammie: Why?
Elle: Police is coming.
A flurry of police cars blocked our path. Tammie gripped the steering wheel.
Tammie: That is the least of my worries.
Elle: Tammie--is that another way of saying--
Tammie: (shouting) I am gonna jump it! Prepare for a possible breaking-of-the-bones outbreak!
Farrah: What? Really? Lemme do it!
Farrah stood up, grasped the steering wheel, and steered the limo upwards.
Steph: (shouting) G-GUHHHHH!
It thudded to the ground. Farrah gave the wheel and right to drive back to Tammie and sat beside me.
Farrah: You are such a scaredy-cat, Steph.
Steph: H-hey! I-I am the brains of this g-group! N-not the f-f-fearless one!
Elle: Farrah is right. Chile, you will really need to stop being terrified so easily.
Raven: Darling, you probably used chile in the context wrong.
Elle: I have the right to use every word in the alphabet as I please.
Raven: Riiiight.
Elle: Hey, I can only say riiiight that way. Farrah, where did you get that choker?
I ignored Elle and nudged Tammie.
Tammie: What? Jeez, I am driving!
Raven: Please continue that peking duck story you discontinued the other day.
Tammie: Oh, thank god someone listened!
Steph: I-I listened t-too. Is it about the p-pond p-problem th-thing?
Tammie: Thank god 2 someones listened!
I glimpsed the black-dotted yellow sweater Steph was wearing.
Raven: Steph, I have never seen that shirt before. Is that new?
Steph: Oh, u-um, kinda m-maybe. I s-stole it. Y-yesterday.
Raven: Okay. Back to the duck story.
Tammie: So remember that old man that approached me? Well, he--
A loud, cheery sound filled the limo. Tammie stopped the car, and I looked out the window and saw a little girl dancing with a familiar mocha-banana ice cream.
Tammie: Gonna tell you later.
Farrah: Oh, what? We are here? Already?
Elle: Yup. Wear your disguises.
Farrah was about to slip on her shades when I held out my arm.
Raven: Dear, if you do not want to be suspicious, do not look suspicious.
Elle: Well, we will have to be a little suspicious.
Farrah: Yeah, I mean, some people know what we look like. We need to make sure no one recognizes us.
Steph: U-um, I th-think I-I can h-help with th-th-that.
Farrah: (shouting) STEPH!
Steph looked behind her, puzzled.
Steph: U-um...yeah?
Farrah: (shouting) Can you for once speak what is on your mind?! Transfer the ideas to your mouth directly from your mind! Do not stutter! Do not mutter! Do not sputter! We are all ready and waiting for you to break out of your shell! Do you not see?!
Steph tilted her head.
Steph: Um...um...
Raven: Stephie, darling, I think what Farrah means is that you should not question what you are saying. You should not hesitate. You should speak freely. And it appears that she is sick and tired that the should is not changing to currently do.
Steph: I-I am s-sorry? B-but F-Farrah, it i-is not like y-you are a-any better!
Farrah gasped. All the attention and air drifted to Steph.
Steph: I a-a-pologize f-for my outburst-t-t. S-s-something h-happened. B-but anyway, I was g-going to s-say th-that...I pr-prepared disguises on the w-way here.
Tammie: That is great, Steph!
Raven: Yes, wonderful.
Elle: Yeah, nice.
I removed my navy blue jacket and stared straight at Steph.
Elle: (whispering) Farrah, I think I am suffocating being stuck in this car.
Raven: Stephie, I think Elle is suffocating being stuck in this car. Sweetie, where are the disguises?
Elle shot me a glare. I waved it away.
Steph: H-here.
Steph handed me 5 banana yellow sundresses with peach pearl collar necklaces and milk white ballerina flats. 4 sand brown sun hats lay on top of them, with thin black ribbons tied around them. Above the hats were 5 berry lipsticks in black containers and 5 neon pink hair ties.
Tammie: Good thinking! But there are only 4 hats...
Steph: So-so-sorry! Th-the wallet I b-brought only af-f-f-afforded 4 h-h-hats!
Tammie: Well, someone is gonna have to sacrifice their hat and risk being identified.
Raven: I will risk it, my dears.
Farrah: No, I will! I am the most kick-butt person in this group! I will give up my hat!
Elle: Okay, I am REALLY suffocating right now. Can you open the door?
Tammie: Sure thing.
Tammie pushed the door open, but not too open so that we are not seen. We placed the dresses over our clothes, removed our shoes and pulled the flats on, slathered on some lipstick, tied our hair in a bun, and clipped the collar necklaces on. Everyone but Farrah put on a hat.
I stepped out of the limo, nonchalant about everything. I avoided any eye contact with strangers and followed Elle to the restaurant.
Fish and Fondue, a fake diner, so do not search it up.
We entered the restaurant and kept our heads down. Since we have devoted our life to crime, we can never be too careful.
A tall waiter approached us and bowed.
Waiter: Name?
Elle: Kelly Mesh.
Elle gestured towards us.
Elle: And friends.
Waiter: Do you have a reservation?
Elle: We do not.
Waiter: Ah.
Tammie: We do not need a reservation. We will take any table that is left.
Waiter: All are reserved.
Tammie: Re-what?!
Waiter: Ah.
The waiter bowed and walked away.
Farrah: Takeout, then.
Tammie: No way!
Tammie grabbed her rope out of a dress pocket and wrapped it around her finger. I put my hand on her arm.
Raven: (whispering) Tam, deary, you are serving the fish in Fish and Fondue. And by fish, I mean suspicious. And it is too early to strangle someone.
Tammie stuffed her rope into the pocket and huffed. Someone pushed her out of the way.
Tammie: Hey!
2 women in crimson ball gowns rushed to the waiter and clasped their hands together.
Woman #1: We are so, so sorry--
Woman #2: But we just cannot not cancel our reservation.
Woman #1: Forgive us, please!
They ran out. Farrah snickered.
Farrah: They are making a mistake. Ha! No one would want to cancel a reservation in Fish and Fondue! 1 point for us!
Raven: Schadenfreude?
Farrah: Totally, mm-ha! Are you feeling it?
Raven: Nope, nope.
Farrah: Elle, are you feeling it?
Elle: I have a feeling this is a great opportunity to take the unreserved table.
Farrah: Yes, exactly!
Tammie: Well, I just have a feeling of happiness because we can finally eat.
Tammie bolted to the waiter and stuck her finger up her neck. I believed that was one of the tics she did to check if she was doing the right thing.
Tammie: Waiter!
Waiter: Ye--ah.
Tammie: Tsk, tsk, 2 people seem to have left a table for us. Tsk, tsk.
Waiter: Name?
Tammie: E--I--uh--Kelly told me you do not need to know my name.
The waiter pointed at a table a few inches away from him.
Waiter: Table?
Tammie: Yes, duh! Come on, uh, friends!
Elle waltzed to the table and sat down with her head high.
Elle: Friends.
Farrah hurried to Elle. Steph and I shrugged and silently trekked to them. I pulled up a chair and perched on it, never taking my eyes off the waiter.
Eventually, he got the message and went to another table.
Steph buried her nose in the menu, like she usually does. I snapped my fingers. All I was was hungry.
Raven: (whispering) Tam, darling, the old man! What happened?
Tammie: Oh, uh, the old man squatted close to me, like we were only a centimetre apart. I let go of the duck in fear and it splashed in the pond. Suddenly, the thought of turning the duck into peking duck erased itself and I did not feel like doing it anymore. The old man patted my back and lightly tugged my ear.
Raven: Oh, what?
Steph: Um, what did he, um. s-say?
Steph gave the menu to Elle.
Steph: We will, um, have what you are , um, having. But, um, be cautious. Do not, um, choose anything, um, poisonous, um.
Elle: K.
Raven: Dear, what did he say?
Tammie: He said, You must be the goddess of fish! Hello, Betsy!
Raven: Wh-wha?
I licked my lips, trying not to laugh from utter foolishness.
Steph: W-wait--wha--um, um, wait, wait, uh, w-w-what?
Tammie: Grandpapa must have remembered wrong. Hear me out, hear me out! I am not the goddess of fish.
Raven: Really?
Steph: And--and--and then--and then--what did y-you, um, d-d-do?
Tammie: I ditched the peking duck idea, awkwardly shook my head at the grandpa--sorry, but I do not know how he thought of that--and just stomped off.
Tammie took a sip of her glass of water.
Tammie: (whispering) Like you said, Raven, humanity is severely disappointing these days.
Raven: We must not be blinded by idiocy, insanity, lunacy, rubbish.
Tammie: Ha, ya. Fate can sometimes suck.
Tammie pointed at Farrah.
Tammie: And she thought fate was all sunshine and rainbows. Her countless pennies and her richness must have gotten into her brain.
I smirked. It was not that funny, but it was true. Farrah frowned.
Farrah: You are quite grumpy these days. Stop being such a grumps-a-lot. After all, fate brought us together, and you should not throw the opportunity away.
Tammie blinked 7 times. I slightly moved my chair away from her, knowing it was the cue of a certain someone.
Tammie slowly turned to Farrah and gaped at her from head to toe. She bit her lower lip.
Tammie: Care to repeat that?
Farrah: Oh, you bet I will.
Luckily, Elle noticed what was going on and jumped in before things got worse.
Elle: So, ladies! We will have escargot and ratatouille. I mean, that is what I want, but like--
Farrah: Ya, that is fine!
Steph: Rata--rata, um, ratatouille is, um, t-t-tasty.
Elle: Waiter!
Elle pressed the Fish and Fondue Order Button. The waiter dashed to Elle.
Elle: I would like to order 1 plate of escargot and 1 serving of ratatouille.
Farrah: We will have what she is having.
Elle: And macarons for dessert. 5 of the medium-sized ones. Just 5.
Raven: ASAP.
Tammie: Ya got it?
The waiter nodded.
Waiter: That will be $710.
Tammie: Wow. That is so old-fashioned. So bland.
Farrah: For once, I agree.
Elle: We mean the ones made special.
Farrah: We want the better ones! We are up for a challenge!
Tammie: Elite food for elite people.
I nudged Tammie. She frowned.
Tammie: Please.
Waiter: That will be $1420.
Tammie: Oh, that is so cheap!
Farrah: You clearly do not know what it's like to be in first-class. We are gonna teach you a lesson, waiter.
Farrah gave the waiter the evil eye. He scooted away.
Raven: Farrah, I do not think that is the right way to say i--
Elle: My gosh, of course it is! To order is to have glory.
I shrugged and rolled my eyes.

An Interview (not what you think, darling)

Sigh. Humanity is severely disappointing these days. They think I am approachable, so they walk up to and interview me. I have avoided people like them before, but I finally made an exception for one clever, happy child.
I guided her to my favorite cafe, ordered myself and her delicious blueberry cake, sat in a table farthest from the crowd, adjusted my straw hat, and nodded.
Child: Excuse me, Madam, but I did not catch your name.
Raven: The name is Raven.
Child: Good afternoon, Ms. Raven. My name is Simone.
Raven: Dear, be quick. I do not have all day.
Simone: When was the last time you killed someone?
Raven: Last week, I recall.
Simone: Please describe that time.
Raven: The name of a friend of mine is Elle, and Elle had a plan to kill Mae and her husband at their wedding. When Mae entered the garden, Elle and perhaps 100 other people shot her. The 100 people included me.
Simone: Why do you kill?
Raven: To rid of ennui.
Simone: What are you doing when you are not killing?
Raven: Eating, sleeping, taking a shower, the usual.
Simone: What would you do if I cursed all your pets without your permission?
Raven: Lead you to the chopping block, of course.
Simone: Are you still friends with Elle?
Raven: I do not talk to her that much, but when I do, I whisper a name of a future victim that comes to mind and she will hatch a plan to kill that victim.
Simone: Who is more dangerous, you or Elle?
Raven: Me, because I have more weapons.
Simone: What is your favorite pastime?
Raven: Killing.
Simone: Other than killing?
Raven: Excuse me?
Simone: Sorry, Ms. Raven, but all I know about you is that you are an expert killer.
Raven: I like shopping.
Simone: Why is that?
Raven: To disguise myself.
Simone: Have you ever hurt your friends to accomplish something?
Raven: I killed a friend.
Simone: Really?
Raven: You do not want to know.
Simone: K.
Raven: K.
Simone: What is your name?
Raven: Are you testing me to see if I am not lying in these questions?
Simone: How good are you at spotting a lie and lying?
Raven: I am both a good lie detector and a good liar.
Simone: Am I lying right now?
Raven: No, because lies take the form of answers.
Simone: Have you ever almost been caught by the police?
Raven: No, I am too fast.
Simone: Have you ever almost been killed?
Raven: No, I am too fast and charismatic.
Simone: Who told you to kill?
Raven: Myself.
Simone: Are you a spy?
Raven: Perhaps.
Simone: Do you have another job?
Raven: I like writing fake news reports.
Simone: Have you ever been caught writing fake news reports?
Raven: No.
Simone: Do you have a job that is not illegal?
Raven: Teaching.
Simone: Teaching who?
Raven: The innocent children what and what not to do in quadratic formulas.
I looked out the window and spotted a familiar limousine. I glared at Simone.
Raven: Do not tell anyone this ever happened.
Simone: How do you know you can trust me?
Raven: Because I know.
Simone silently bit a piece of the blueberry cake. I hopped out of my chair and ran out the cafe, making sure no one else saw me.
Simone: Hey! Are you going to finish the cake?!
Raven: No.
I slammed the door and approached the limo. It was shiny and black, like an obsidian, and there was a large K on the doors, inked in gold paint.
I heard footsteps behind me. I listened to the sneakers hitting the road and keys clinking in the air. I realized who it was and turned to the person.
Raven: Simone, now is not the time to stalk me.
Simone: I am not Simone!
Raven: You just told me you are Simone.
Simone: I am still not Simone!
Raven: So you were testing if I was lying but you were lying too, dear.
Simone: I am Simone, but I am not Simone.
Raven: Prove it.
I opened the door to the passenger seat of the limo, got in, and closed it. But Simone managed to squeeze in.
Raven: You are not allowed to do that--
Limo driver: DUSTY, GET OUT!!
I glanced at the driver.
Raven: Tammie, who and where is Dusty?
Tammie: Inside.
Raven: Whoever Dusty is cannot be in this car.
Tammie: She is!
Tammie pointed at Simone.
Raven: Simone is Dusty?
Tammie: Dusty is her real name. She uses her fake name Simone 99.9 percent of the time. She is a spy.
Raven: She looks too young to be a spy. '
Tammie: Young? She is 23 years old!
Simone: That is not true! I am just a child! You are accusing me of something I never did!
Tammie: Why did you come here then, Dusty?
Simone: I--I thought it was the car of my daddy!
Tammie yanked the hair of Simone. It snapped off.
Raven: Oh, you were talking about that Dusty.
Simone gazed at Tammie angrily. Her familiar auburn pigtails were hard to ignore. In a split second, I recognized her.
Dusty: No!
Tammie: The secret is out. You cannot do anything about it. Now GET OUT OR DIE.
Dusty: Please no! I will do anything to keep my life!
Tammie and I exchanged looks.
Raven: Anything?
Dusty: Yes! Even quit my spy job!
Raven: Hmm.
Tammie: Then do not--
Raven: Tell--
Tammie: Anyone--
Raven: This actually happened.
I punched the door open and shoved Dusty out. I shut the door and Tammie drove away.
Sigh. Humanity is severely disappointing these days. Especially the children. They think they are smart, but they really have an IQ of a sack of rotten potatoes.
Oh, well. Once Elle decides which very intelligent human to kill next, we can continue on our mission, and people will know who the boss is.
Mwahaha...

My to-do list

TO-DO LIST
*Complete Bearber Map (on hold)
*Save 40M MP
*Get Quell Experience (on hold, too)
*Upgrade to Level 20
*Turn GigiGoode into Doll/Sparkle/Pastel/any costume that looks good Kaala