Anyone willing to give feedback on writing?

I would really appreciate some. It's not the most exciting of chapters(it's not too long) but I need to know how the characters are coming across because I'm feeling like they are just grating haha

The story is set in 17th century London. It will eventually turn into a story about my mc becoming a highwayman, but this is her beginning.

https://yarny.me/share/v4cbbc

Please MM with your response, let me know how each of the characters come off and your impressions.

Thanks

Opening Sentence (writing question)

Hey there, I'm doing a rewrite and I'm having a really hard time coming up with an effective opening sentence. Every one on Mara is extremely helpful with my writing questions so I thought I would ask opinions on this opening sentence.
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"The freedom, the thrill,the moment of awe-inspiring rebellion; it all ended with the spirit-crushing crunch of concrete biting into metal and glass."

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So that's it. Do you like/hate it? Does it hook you? Is it too vague/ too detailed? Do you think it's too wordy? Is there a way you would rearrange/reword it? I've written and re-written it so many times that I no longer have the eye to critique it XD Oh and did I use the semi-colon properly?

Thanks in advance,

Rehtse

Looking to buy cristals in bulk...

Please MM me price/amount if you are selling

Thanks