Story: the spirit

The Wee One, sat in her thinking place, puzzling. The purple hyacinths grew behind the moss covered rock she sat upon. She was wondering if what she wanted to do was the right thing. The longer she sat in her thinking spot, the more she believed her idea was a good one. With her mind made up to do something she had never done before, the tiny fae took flight on golden wings.

The fae flitted high into the air over the giant oaks and beyond the meadow. She fluttered down on the shore of the Sparkling Lake. The Wee One walked from one stone to another, towards a very large rock. It stood above the others, like a beacon. She hesitated for a moment before whispering to the stone. Suddenly it appeared to rise a little into the air.

The Wee One walked under the stone. A golden box sat beneath it. Quickly she lifted the lid of the box. A Spirit filled the tiny crystal box the fae now held in her hand. As the fae walked out from under the great stone, it settled down once again. Without a moment???s hesitation she took to the air. The fae flitted to her home in the ancient oak, the crystal box now safely in her pocket.

Once home, the Wee One set the box on her mushroom table. The fireflies gathered overhead. The crystal box glittered like diamonds. With trembling hands the Wee One opened the box. Suddenly, before her stood a beautiful Spirit. ???Will you help me???? The Wee One pleaded. The Spirit did not so much speak, as it thought. The Wee One knew, the Spirit would help her.

???We shall begin our journey now,??? the spirit thought. *poof* In a twinkling, both the Spirit and the Wee One were transported to a city, in the Land of Real.

The Wee One was not prepared for what she saw when they materialized. It was a place that had things called buildings. Some of the buildings were as tall as the Magic Mountain. The air smelled odd and tasted funny. There was not a tree or flower to be seen. ???I am frightened,??? the fae whispered to the Spirit. ???Is this where the children come from????

???Yes,??? the Spirit replied. The Wee One shivered a bit, but the Spirit thought, ???It will be okay, I???m with you.??? ???Now quickly before it gets light open your pouch and do what you have come to do.???

The Wee One reached deep into her pouch and gathered a handful of faerie dust. With the Spirit by her side, she sprinkled the magic dust everywhere. When they had finished the Spirit thought again. ???You have done well wee fae, for a first effort; now watch!??? Quietly, a gentle rain began to fall. The Spirit smiled, for the sprinkles began to grow flowers and trees everywhere they settled.

As the sun began to rise the city was ablaze with the color of beautiful flowers, twining green vines and stately trees. From far beyond the city a rainbow appeared and held the city in its arc. The Spirit thought. ???It will make them happy wee fae, it truly will.??? In a twinkle the Wee One and the Spirit sat together on a spire overlooking the city. They watched, as the children, the young and the old came out of their houses. All looked about them with smiles and wonder. The city was now bursting with the beauty of flowers and the songs of birds in the young trees.

???It is time to go now,??? the Spirit thought. The Wee One nodded her head. *poof* In a twinkle the two friends were back on the shore of the Sparkling Lake. The Spirit returned to the golden box beneath the magic rock. The Wee One sighed to see the Spirit go, but she knew the Spirit would always be present for those in need of her.

In a whisper the Wee One said, ???thank you for helping me... Hope.???

Fun facts

a cat can run about 20 kilometres per hour (12 miles per hour) when it grows up. This one is going nowhere today - it is too lazy !.


A cheetah can run 76 kilometres per hour (46 miles per hour) - that's really fast! The fastest human beings runs only about 30 kilometres per hour (18 miles per hour).


a cheetah does not roar like a lion - it purrs like a cat (meow).


A Zipper joins two pieces of material together.A zipper is used everywhere, on clothing, pencil cases, boots and suitcases, wallets, and a zillion other things. Everyone thinks it was Whitcomb Judson who invented the zipper but it was really Elias Howe. Elias was so busy inventing the sewing machine that he didn't get around to selling his zipper invention which he called a "clothing closure".


Did you know that the average lead pencil can draw a line that is almost 35 miles long or you can write almost 50,000 words in English with just one pencil? Amazing fact! Now imagine an eraser that could match it !!!


Did you know the first bicycle that was made in 1817 by Baron von Drais didn't have any pedals? People walked it along
The first metal bicycle was called the High-Wheel or Penny Farthing. People had a hard time keeping their balance on this type of bicycle
Did you know the first toy balloon, made of vulcanized rubber, was thought of by someone in the J.G.Ingram company in London, England in 1847.


9pin bowling was made up in Germany during the Medieval ages
Karl Benz invented the first gas powered car. The car had only three wheels. The first car with four wheels was made in France in 1901 by Panhard et LeVassor.
The first pick-up truck in the world was made by Gottlieb Daimler in 1886. Gottlieb produced the world's first motorcycle in 1885.
Gottlieb Daimler also built the world's first taxi in 1897. It was called the Daimler Victoria and had a taxi meter. On 16 June of that year the taxi was delivered to Stuttgart transportation entrepreneur Friedrich Greiner who used it to start the world's first motorized taxi company.


The first steam powered train was invented by Robert Stephenson. It was called the Rocket.


Did you know there are two kinds of pandas? There is the Long-tailed Himalayan carnivore that looks like a raccoon and there is the Giant panda bear that lives in Western China.


The Blue Whale's whistle is the loudest noise made by an animal.


Did you know there are two kinds of camels? One is the Arabian that lives in Western Asia and Northern Africa. It has one hump. And the second kind is called Bactrian which has two humps and lives in Mongolia and Chinese Turkistan.


There are two kinds of elephants: the African that is taller and has larger ears and the Indian that is small and has smaller ears.


The fastest human swimmer can swim at 6 miles per hour. The fastest mammal - the dolphin - can swim up to 35 miles per hour.


The smallest bird in the world is the Hummingbird. It weighs 1oz.


Did you know fishes talk to each other? Some of them communicate by making noises in their throats by rasping their teeth, others use their swim bladders to make sounds
The bird that can fly the fastest is called a White It can fly up to 95 miles per hour.


Napoleon's christening name was Italian: Napoleone Buonaparte(OR Bonaparte). He was born on the island of Corsica one year after it became French property. As a boy, Napoleon hated the French.


The brain of an average adult male weighs 1,375 gm (55 oz). The brain of Russian novelist Turgenev weighed 2021 gm (81 oz), Bismark's weighed 1807 gm (72 oz), while that of French statesman Gambetta was only 1294 gm (51 oz). Einstein's brain was of average size.

Jokes



Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Tim?"
" My goldfish died" replied Tim tearfully without looking up "and I've just buried him".
The neighbour frowned. "That's an awfully big hole for a gold fish isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last piece of earth.
" Well", he replied, "that's because it's inside your cat."

**********

A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife "you know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell One rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell two rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell three rings and we're ready to go on the engines. "That's super dear" says his old lady. "From now on" continues the fire fighter "we're going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell one I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell two I want you to jump into bed. When I say Bell three we are going to have sex all night." So the next night the fireman comes home from work and yells "Bell one" and his wife takes of all her clothes. "Bell two" he shouts and she jumps into bed. "Bell three" he barks and they begin to have sex.. But after just a couple of minutes his wife yells "Bell four" "What???s this bell four?" the husband asks. "More hose" she replies "you're nowhere near the fire!"

**********

After months of ill heath, a man goes to his doctor for a full check-up. The doctor brings out the results and says 'I'm afraid I've got some very bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time left'. The man looks shocked. 'Oh that's terrible! How long have I got?' 'Ten' replies the doctor. 'Ten?' the man asks. 'Ten what? Months? Weeks? What on earth do you mean?' The doctor looks at him sadly. 'Nine... Eight...'

**********

A yuletide meal at an expensive restaurant is disturbed when a woman starts screaming. "My son is choking" she cries, "He's swallowed the sixpence in the Christmas pudding. Please anyone help!" Without speaking a man stands up at a nearby table and walks over nonchalantly. Smiling pleasantly he grips the boy by the gonads and squeezes. The boy coughs and out pops the coin. "Thank you so much" beams the relieved mother, "are you a paramedic?" "No" replied the man "I work for the inland revenue".

**********

Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps, are a South African, an Australian (both blokes), a young blonde lady, and a little old lady.
The train goes into a tunnel & a few seconds later there's the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Australian has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: "That Australian must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek."
The blonde thinks: "That Australian must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady. She slapped his cheek"
The Australian thinks: "That South African must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead."
The South African thinks: "I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can slap that bloody Aussie again."

**********

A guy bought a new Mercedes and was out on the 401 for a nice evening drive. As the needle jumped up to 125 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.
Confident he could outrun the police car, be began to drive faster. The needle hit 130, 140, 150 and finally 160 with the lights still behind him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork, and I did enjoy chasing you like that, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go."
" Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
" Have a nice night," said the officer and went home.

**********

Old married couple and the husband is rummaging under the bed where he finds a cardboard box containing two eggs and five thousand pounds.
He goes downstairs to the wife and says, "I've just found this box under the bed with two eggs and five thousand pounds, what's going on?"
" Well" she says "every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in that box."
The old man weighs the situation up and thinks, "Two eggs after 50 years of marriage, I can forgive her that"
" O.K." he says and what about the five thousand pounds?"
" Well" she says, " every time I had a dozen, I sold them!!!!"

**********

Old Mrs Harris goes to the doctor with an embarrassing problem. 'I pass wind all the time' she says. 'It doesn't smell and it's silent but it's very uncomfortable. In fact, I've done it 20 times since coming in'. The doc thinks for a minute then gives her a prescription. He tells her 'try taking these pills for a week then come back and see me'. A week later, Mrs Harris marches in, more embarrassed than ever. 'Doctor, I don't know what was in the pills but my problem is worse than ever - and now it stinks too!' 'Calm down!' says the doc. 'Now we've sorted out your sinuses, we'll see to your hearing'.

**********

The supervisor of a local firm is startled when his secretary burst into his office and demands to file a complaint of sexual harassment against a man who works in the same department. 'What on earth did he do?' asks the boss. 'It's not what he did, it's what he said!' the secretary shrieks. 'He said that my hair smelt nice!' 'And what's so wrong with him telling you that?' asks the boss. 'He's a midget' huffs the woman.

**********

A secretary answers the phone in a busy office "Nottingham Parachute Club" she says There's a sharp intake of breath "Excuse me" says a man on the other end of the phone, obviously startled. "But don't you mean the Nottingham Prostitute club?" "Oh no sir" laughs the secretary "its definitely a parachute club" "Damn! Last week your salesman called and signed me for 2 jumps a week"

**********

A man and his dog walk into the pub and turn to the assembled patrons. 'Ladies and gentlemen' the man announces in a loud voice. 'I bet anyone here a pint of lager that my dog can talk'. After muttering from the tables, the barman agrees to the bet and is amazed when the dog perches himself on the barstool and delivers a fascinating speech about the situation in Ireland. The barman says 'that's amazing! But I bet you another pint that your pooch can't go and get you a newspaper'. After a moment, the man agrees and slips the dog a crisp fiver and says 'I want the change as well'. The dog nods and runs out the pub. He doesn't return after an hour though so the worried man find the pub in a nearby alley - shagging a local Newths float my boat. 'Oi!' yells the man. 'You???ve never done this before!' to which the dog replies 'Well, I've never had the money before'.

**********

A rich man is away on business and phones home. The maid answers and he asks if he can speak to his wife. 'She's upstairs shagging her lover' the undiplomatic home-help replies. 'Right' the man says. 'Take out my shotgun and shoot them both'. The maid leaves, the mean hears two loud shots and she returns. 'What shall I do with the bodies?' she asks. The man replies 'take them out the back and dump them in the swimming pool'. 'What swimming pool?' asks the maid. 'That is 849 9698, isn't it?' the man asks.

**********

Sleeping beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world" Tom Thumb said "I must be the smallest person in the world" Quasimodo said "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world" They decided to go to the Guinness Book of Records to have their claims verified. Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy. "Its official I am the most beautiful girl in the world" Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant "I am officially the smallest person in the world" Sometime later Quasimodo came out looking confused and simply stated "Who the hell is Camilla Parker Bowles?"

**********

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time that produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...what? (Oh, crumbs, this is so bad, it's good) A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

**********

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. "Thirteen, thirteen thirteen!" goes the noise from within the mental hospital's wards. The man's curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It's not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye. As he reels back in agony the chanting continues "fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

**********

Old Mrs Harris goes to the doctor with an embarrassing problem. 'I pass wind all the time' she says. 'It doesn't smell and it's silent but it's very uncomfortable. In fact, I've done it 20 times since coming in'. The doc thinks for a minute then gives her a prescription. He tells her 'try taking these pills for a week then come back and see me'. A week later, Mrs Harris marches in, more embarrassed than ever. 'Doctor, I don't know what was in the pills but my problem is worse than ever - and now it stinks too!' 'Calm down!' says the doc. 'Now we've sorted out your sinuses, we'll see to your hearing'.

**********

2 dwarfs win the lottery and so hire 2 prostitutes and 2 hotel rooms. Dwarf 1 tries all night to get an erection all he can hear from the next room is 'one ,two, three, huh!' this continues all night. The next morning, Dwarf 2 asks, 'so how did it go?' Dwarf 1 replies 'it was crap, I couldn't even get an erection. How was your night?' to which Dwarf 2 replies 'worse - I couldn't even get on the bed'.

**********

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you Newths float my boats who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you Newths float my boats who are getting on, get your Newths float my boat in the train, cause we're going down the tracks".
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are Newths float my boated off about the two hour delay, please see the c**t in the kitchen."


**********

A man walks into Toys-R-Us and says to the sales assistant, 'Could you show me your Barbie dolls, please?' 'Certainly, sir,' she says. 'Here, we have Fashion Barbie at ??15.95, Vacation Barbie, also ??15.95, Housewife Barbie - that's ??15.95 too - and Divorcee Barbie, at ??215.95.' The man is astonished. 'Why's Divorcee Barbie so much?' he asks. 'She looks the same as the others to me.' 'Well, sir,' says the assistant, 'that's because Divorcee Barbie comes complete with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's furniture, Ken's dog...'

**********

"That's the best pig I've ever had. My son fell into the river and this pig dived in and dragged him out by his teeth saving his life."
" I see" says the man "but that doesn???t explain why the pig only has three legs."
The farmer replies "The other night there was a fire in the farm house, that pig ran over 2 miles to the fire station and brought back help, saved my house did that pig."
" That still doesn't explain why the pig is missing a leg" said the man.
" Well" said the farmer "If you had a pig that was so brilliant would you eat it all at once?"

**********
If you have a joke, you can Maramail me with it and I might put it here.