funny ultimate truths

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success??????.. is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn???t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk..
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don???t need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich???.. which never works.
If at first you don???t succeed???. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ???- Murphy???s golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?????? the bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
If you have paper, you don???t have a pen??????. If you have a pen, you don???t have paper?????? if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students???-
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
All Govt buses are crowded.
Corollary??? ??? The Govt buses in opposite direction always go empty.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker