Female Comebacks-Hahaha!!!

female comebacks - I read this and found some of them VERY funny.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
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Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
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Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
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Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
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Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
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Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
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Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
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Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
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If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
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If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
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CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
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DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen
Fromsagetemp!

I've Had 34 of 38 Blonde Moments,and I am blonde!

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
[] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[x]You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
total=4

[x] You have ran into a tree.
[] It IS possible to lick your elbow
[x] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[x]You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[x] You just tried to sing them.
[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[X] You have choked on your own spit.
[x]You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.
[x] You didn't notice that in the last question "the" was spelled twice
[x] You just looked at it.
[x]Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.
[x]People have called you slow.
total so far=15

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
[x] You've fallen asleep in class
[x] If someone says "fart" you laugh.
[x] You just laughed.
total so far=21

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[x] You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
[] People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
[x]You are often told to use your "inside voice".
[x]You use your fingers to do simple math.
total so far=25

[x]You have eaten a bug.
[x]You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket
total so far=29

[] You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.
[x] You break a lot of things.
[x] Your friends know not to use big words around you
[X] You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before
[x] When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
total so far=34

total=34

Repost as "I've Had _ of 38 Blonde Moments"
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Wowwww!! I got 34/38!!! I am a true blonde!!!!

Daddy's Poem

Daddy's Poem

Don't read without tissues because it will make you cry if you have a heart..


Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,

for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again,

she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school

eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees;

a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching,

for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"

she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one,"

another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,

as she smiled up at her Mom.

And looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories

he taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him.

I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,

even though we are apart

I know because he told me,

he'll forever be in my heart"


With that, her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

who was wise beyond her years.


For she stood up for the love

of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,

he's my shining star.

And if he could, he'd be here,

but heaven's just too far

You see he was a firefighter

and died just this past year

When airplanes hit the towers

and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes,

and she saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,

she witnessed with surprise

A room full of daddies and children,

all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,

who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"

to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,

by the love of her shining star.

And given the gift of believing,

that heaven is never too far.


They say it takes a minute to find a special

person, an hour to appreciate them,

a day to love them, but then an entire

life to forget them.

REPOST THIS TO SHOW APPRCIATION for the people you'll never forget . It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.

If you don't REPOST THIS, it means you're

in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.

Take the time...to live and love.

Until eternity

post this in your blog as "Daddy's Poem"