funny as hell!!!

Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I kissed
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a surfer
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway. Brown---------because I can..
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Mine: i licked a suirrel cuzz thats how i roll!!!!
friend's: i ran over chuck norris because the voices told me to....
favorite daycare kid's: i danced with a monster cuz hes a ninja!!!!

WOW

> > > repost as 'No girl deserves this'

> > > Girl:I have to tell you something.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: What?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm
> > > falling in love with you.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: Ok...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: What do you mean 'ok'?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: I don't like you like that...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Why not?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > From then on, the girl kept asking the boy 'Why
> > > not?' whenever she saw him, and he kept answering
> > > the same answer of 'I'll tell you later.' Finally
> > > the girl got fed up.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like
> > > me!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Yes!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: It's because you're uglier than ANYTHING!
> > > What's the point of going out with someone when
> > > they're not pretty?!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: But... I...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone,
> > > crying her heart out... Then her cell phone rings.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Hello?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'l l be
> > > home from work in a few hours.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Alright Mom.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: I love you.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I love you too, Mom.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: Bye Bye.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Bye
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The girl heads home and once she got there, she went
> > > in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I'm not pretty enough...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > She set to work, knowing fully well what she was
> > > going to do. 2 hours later, her Mom came home and
> > > heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to
> > > find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: Honey? Are you alright?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The
> > > bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water
> > > was tinted red. She walked over to see what was
> > > inside and screamed. There, her little girl was
> > > lying with cuts all over her f ace and wrists. Her
> > > Mom backed away and was going to run to call the
> > > police when something caught her eye. On the mirror,
> > > am I pretty enough now?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > No one deserves to be told that by someone they
> > > love. If you find it messed up then forward this to
> > > everyone you know.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is
> > > their heart inside of them and their personality. No
> > > one wants to be told they're not good enough...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Repost this in 5 Min or something bad will happen 2
> > > U tomorrow

blonds no offense

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"