BOOM LOOPHOLE

Something Left Behind

Prologue
I stared blankly at the words that had just traveled from my fingertips to the monitor in front of me. The final sentences to my legacy. I dragged the cursor to the 'print' symbol and clicked. I listened to the sound of paper running through and printing out. I took one breath, swept my fingers through my hair, and sighed. The feeling of accomplishment would have been somewhat overwhelming, but I was exhausted.
I thought about her for a brief moment and for the first time, it didn't hurt. The thought of his hands all over her, holding her like I would hold her, kissing the lips that had once kissed me. This was a thought that used to kill me, but not tonight. I simply smiled. I thought about my future, about all my struggles up to this point. Everything I never want to leave behind. Then, finally, I thought about how finally, I felt at peace.
Usually, when someone says ???write a book about it.??? one will just smile and disregard it as sarcasm. But on occasion, it's the exact inspiration one needs. It truly is the ultimate venting experience.
I took three ibuprofen, laid in bed, and looked at the clock. It read 2:05 A.M. My mind wandered to the meeting with my editor tomorrow. I needed everything to run very smoothly. I shut my eyes to soar into the darkness that envelopes one as the mind takes over and the sweet escape of a dream consumes their world.
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???Well, Kyle, what convinced you to go through with writing this????
???To be honest? It was an experience that I would never like to forget. It was the fact that I feel others could not only empathize with, but also learn from the mistakes I made that gave me the inspiration needed to write this.???
???So this is based on personal events that transpired???? I nodded.
???Yes sir. Detail for detail.???
???Well, I think that it has the making for a good story. After we work things out and send it to a publisher, there will be a contract offered. I suggest you take it and if all runs okay, publication will start in December. Is that alright with you????
???Yes sir, completely, that sounds perfect. Thank you so much I need this.??? I stepped out of the building and headed toward my car. I got in, started the ignition, and looked out to the road of possibilities in front of me.
I'm aware that it's strange to start a story backwards like this but everything else in my life is now at a complete change of pace so why not this as well? My name is Kyle Morris and this is my story. It's not the next Twilight and it won't be the next Outsiders. My story might not be the most thrilling, but it's mine and sure as hell not dull.

1.
???Kyle gt you gs, ney!??? Unplugging my music, I looked up at my mother.
???What???? I asked, hoping for no lecture.
???I said get your bags honey, and hurry! We don't have a lot of time before the neighbor's welcoming party and I don't want you to make an unorganized impression already.??? Lifting the luggage, I stepped through the gate and walked up to my new front door. Of my new house. The start of my new life. Thank God for new jobs right? I thought back to the dinner in which my father announced our destination across the country.
???Well, kids. Your father has something he'd like to tell you.??? My mother could hardly keep herself from grinning.
???Who wants to go to California???? My father announced. It was the last week before summer break so I was seriously psyched.
???Are you serious dad???? I asked, hoping this wasn't a joke. Bitter irony that was.
???Dead serious. We leave as soon as your school year ends, so get things in order here while you can.??? My blood ran cold.
???Wait, you only mean for break right? We aren't moving are we????
???Yes, we're moving. I wasn't going to say anything until it was official but recently I applied for a job at corporate and they said without a doubt it was mine. All I have to do is relocate.???
???But that's not fair! My friends are here! My life is here! Not to mention Kassie. And...??? My father cut me off.
???Oh don't start with this crap Kyle. You'll meet plenty of new friends and maybe this time when you pick your girl, she won't be so..??? My sister jumped in.
???C'mon guys, let's not do this.??? That didn't stop him.
???Don't interrupt me Sadie, we all know that Kassie is a little on the freak side.??? I balled my fist.
???Don't say that.??? I warned.
???Son,??? he continues, ???let's be honest. Even her parents seem fried out of their minds. They should know the hipee craze ended.??? I got up from the table. Without looking from his plate my father says, ???You better be heading to your room to get your things ready for packing.??? I glare. He acts as if he doesn't notice.
I walk up the stairs slowly and I hear mom say, ???I wish you wouldn't be so hard on him.??? He ignores her and the next thing I hear is my father telling Sadie to hand him the salt. I hear a clatter. She probably dropped it. I lie in bed and crank up Modest Mouse, wishing more than anything I could float on alright.
-
I snap out of it and walk through the front door. Every room in the house is bare. My mother's words ring in my ear. ???You get the basement to yourself.??? I head down the stairs.
The basement is large and basically looks like every other room in the house, with the exception of no windows. I admitted that this wasn't entirely bad, then started to unpack. I spent a good forty minutes hanging up my shirts and jeans, then putting my socks and boxers into the dresser. I figured this was enough for now, considering the already exceedingly long flight.
???After putting sheets and a blanket onto my bed, I laid down and and shut my eyes. the song ???Everything Is Alright??? by Motion City Soundtrack played in my head before I drifted asleep.
I was awakened by a gentle knock on my door. My mom walked in and sat beside me. ???This doesn't have to be a terrible thing you know. Just try to enjoy it.??? I pretended to stay asleep ???Just know that I love you okay???? I heard footsteps leave my rooms.
Regretful that I didn't even try to acknowledge her attempt to coax me, I decided to make it up to her in the morning. I shut my eyes tightly and imagined myself soaring through the universe, seeing stars and planets. It didn't matter what the scenery was, as long as it wasn't here.





2.
???Get your ass out of bed, we're unpacking.??? My dad's voice boomed in my ears. I felt the blanket ripped off of me and tossed away, opened my eyes slowly and allowed them to adjust to the light. As I stood up and threw on a t-shirt and jeans, my dad slammed the door behind. I mumbled under my breath and finished unpacking my boxes first, hanging posters and then placing all of my books and CDs on the bookshelf. I heard him yell for me downstairs and then rushed down. My sister was at the table talking with my mom about plans to go to the mall later.
???Kyle would you drive your sister???? I thanked God for giving me an escape route.
???Mom, I don't even know this place yet.??? I argued, not wanting to seem eager.
???Well no better way than to drive right? Now go.??? Unable to deny her point, I grabbed my keys and headed for my car. Sliding on my shades, I braced myself for day one. Checking my phone for any recent texts from Kassie, I got into the car. Three new messages.
Mark: Hey bro. You staying chill in the California sun?
Jackie: Wow, way to tell me that you were leaving douche bag. Just..text me okay?
Mark: Btw, gimme some of those Cali girl's digits man.
None. I missed her so much. It killed me to leave.
???Are we leaving anytime soon dude???? I snapped out of it. Looking to my left I saw my sister watching me impatiently.
???Well how do we get there anyway????
???Mom programmed it into the GPS??? Switching it on, I saw the directions already on the screen. Putting the car into drive, I drove a few feet before stopping suddenly???
???Jesus Christ!??? I yelled.
???Well son, I'm not Jesus but we are pretty close. You must be Tom's kids. Kyle and Sadie right? I'm Pastor Mike Roslyn, one of your neighbors. I've met your parents already.???
???Yea, we just got here yesterday.??? Like that wasn't obvious enough. ???Listen, I'm really sorry about this.??? He just chuckled.
???Son it's fine. If I had a nickel for every near death experience, I'd have around seven.??? He chuckled again. ???Well, you kids head off on your way. Good meeting you and I welcome you to the community.??? Thanking him, I continued on the road. My sister busted up laughing.
???Dude! You almost hit a pastor! Aha wouldn't you go to hell for that????
???Sadie shut up! I know I know.??? Toning her out, I put on a Yeah Yeah Yeahs CD.
I followed the GPS's directions and eventually we ended up at the mall. My sister got out of the car first unable to mask her excitement.
???Wow! This place is huge! This entire city is awesome dude! It's like, the greatest thing that we moved here don't you agree????
???Sure kid.???
???Don't even. I'm fifteen now. I barely even need you to drive me.???
???Yeah well until that day, I can call you kid.??? She groaned but then whipped out her phone to call her friend Sam.
???Yeah I swear it's like four of the malls there put together. Wow seriously? That's crazy! I know I miss you too. Cool I'll text you.??? She hung up and looked up at me. ???Remember Derek????
???How could I not? He stole four of my Nirvana CDs and I swear he took my pants.???
???Well he's dating Sam now. She's kind of a slut lately.???
???Wow. Friends much????
???Well I'm just saying. I mean he's like five years older than her.???
???Last I heard of him he was bumming cigarettes outside of that mini market down on Main Street back home. I hope he has something going for him at least.???
???He started a band apparently and Sam is lead vocal.???
???Good for him. I just wish he didn't get his inspiration from my CDs.
???Stop whining. They probably suck anyway.???
???Probably.??? We stepped through the doors of the mall and people were at a craze everywhere. So many of them crowding the entire building. I felt claustrophobia instantly. My sister looked amazed. ???Text me when you want to get out of here okay? Be careful.??? She shooed me away and took off towards some clothing store.
I walked the other way, deciding I could check out a few new books. The place was pretty amazing compared to what I was used to. Everything just seemed too busy. My phone started to ring. ???Hello????
???Did you two make it okay???? Mom asked.
???Yea we just got here. It's pretty cool.???
???Yup. Living the big city life now. The neighbors are all really nice as well. Enjoy yourselves okay honey? Be home by seven.???
???Okay Ma.???
???I Love you??? The phone clicked and I pressed end. I debated about calling Kassie. Thing were pretty heated before I left. Deciding not to, I walked into the bookstore labeled SBFTS. It was almost overwhelming. There was every genre I could think of. Wanting something classic, I headed over to the section.
Before I could reach for John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Standing in front of me was a guy around my age wearing hipster glasses with skinny jeans and a V neck shirt. He had a smirk that matched the idiocy of his haircut and his voice could have won an award from Keanu Reeves himself.
???Look Broski, this is a members only store. Do you have a card????
???Well, I...??? I was interrupted by a stunningly beautiful girl with short brown hair, a striped skirt and a Joan Jett T-shirt. The bluest eyes in the world couldn't top hers.
???Bryan, give him a break he's obviously new.??? She smiled at me. I think I smiled back. Bryan snorted.
???Fine he can look around, but I won't let him buy anything.???
???Like you have any control over that. I could let him use my card.??? I felt awkward in the middle of this.
???That's not permitted Alex so don't even.??? She just sighed and rolled her eyes.
???Fine, this place sucks anyway. C'mon random guy, let's ditch.??? She took my hand and we walked out. I heard Bryan try to say a comeback but he was faded out anyway. We kept walking until we reached the food court. ???So, who are you????
'???Oh, uhm Kyle. Kyle Morris. Just moved here yesterday and me and my sister and
I were just checking things out around here.???
???Well Kyle, allow me to be the first to welcome you here.???
???Actually the first warm welcoming was from a Pastor Mike Roslyn when I almost hit him with my car.??? She blushed and I saw she wanted to laugh.
???You're kidding me.???
???Sadly, not at all. Why, you know him????
???Something like that.??? She grinned but I decided to drop it for now. ???Anyway I'm hungry. Do you like food? Cause' I do.???
???Well generally, I do like food.??? She opened her eyes wide and looked around.
???Thank GOD we're in a food court.??? I laughed. She was cute.
???I never got your name.???
???I'm Alexander???
???Well I got that part.??? I said sarcastically.
???Good, that means you listen. Let's eat. What do we have. Mcdonald's, Burger King, Subway, Arby's. Same old.???
???How about Samurai Joe's Fresh Cut Sushi???? I pointed out.
???You like sushi???? She asked with a quizzical look.
???I have no idea. The only fish I've eaten was deep fried.???
???Jeesh where are you from, Kentucky????
???Basically.???
???Samurai Joe's it is.??? We walked over and a rather angry looking Korean teen looked back at us.
???What you want order? We got many types of fish. Lots of fish. Very fresh guranteed.??? I hid a smile.
???Are you Samurai Joe???? The teen looked at me and raised his knife. He shouted and slammed it down cutting a salmon in half. I stepped back a bit. Alex busted up laughing.
???Cut the crap Randy.???
???Fine.??? Randy said grinning. I felt like an idiot, blushing bright red.
???But seriously what do you guys want? We have a line.??? I looked back and saw no one. ???Okay never mind don't leave seriously I'm so bored.???
???Aha, sorry man. We have to go after we get our food, but text me later and we can chill tomorrow. Oh wow, I almost forgot. Randy this is Kyle.??? I waved and he offered his fish covered hand for me to shake. I awkwardly reached for it and he laughed again.
???Dude, I'm just kidding with you. You new around here????
???Yea, he just moved from, where did you say you were from???? She looked over at me.
???I didn't, but I'm from Ohio.???
???Well that's random man.??? Randy commented. ???You should hang with me and Alex sometime. We will show you the ropes of this city, Bro. Alright now seriously, what do you two want????
???Just give us a couple sushi rolls.???
???Sounds good guys, that'll be $6.75??? I reached for my wallet but Alex stopped me.
???I got this, courtesy to the new kid.??? She smiled triumphantly and handed Randy the money.
???On behalf of Samurai Joe, I wish you a good life my friends.??? Randy then bowed. I busted up laughing.
???Dude, do you do that every time???? He sighed.
???Yes, but the pay is good.???
???Not good enough man, sorry.??? Alex added. We laughed and walked away. ???You ready to try this? Could change your life.???
???Let's do this thing.??? I took a bite and kept a complete poker face as I chewed.
???Well, what do you think???? She asked, in complete anticipation. I swallowed the bite and waiting a few more suspenseful moments.
???I absolutely hate it.??? We both busted up laughing and then threw the plate away.
???Hah, that's fine man. I know a really great place we can go. Best burger you'll ever eat.??? I checked my watch and it read 2:46.
???Sounds good.??? We walked out of the mall and I texted my sister I'd be out for a bit. She replied with 'Fine.' and we headed off to the supposed best burger I'll ever have.
???So, why the big move here? Ohio got ya down????
???Nah, my dad got a corporate job here.???
???Oh really? What company???? I stopped in my tracks to imitate the slogan I'd heard so many times before.
???Donald Marx Publishing, giving you the most beautifully written books since 1897.??? I then proceeded to point to a huge building with the logo DMP on the side. ???See that office way at the top????
???Wow, that's his????
???Nope, but he hopes that if he does exactly as he is told by the company then one day, it will be.??? She giggled.
???Well, at least he has a goal right? He has it figured out.???
???Has what figured out???? I looked at her questioningly.
???What we all have to figure out at some point.???
???What???? I was confused.
???Exactly. Oh here we are.??? She stopped in front of a small, mediocre looking building with a red door and a neon sign that read ???Eat???. We stepped inside and she smiled at the waiter. ???Hey Walter, what goes on???? Walter was tall, black, and wearing a purple fedora with a brilliantly white shirt and dark black slacks.
???Nothing at all baby. About to go on break. Who's your friend????
???That's Kyle. He's new around here.???
???What's up man???? He asked, raising a fist for me to bump.
???Nothing man. I hear this place makes a mean Burger though.??? I say, bumping his fist.
???Damn straight little man, best burger in California.???
???I'll hold you to that.??? We sit down at a table.
???What do you two want to eat???? Walter asks.
???Well, I'll have whatever she gets.??? I say, trying not to make a big deal of my food.
???You want a veggie burger too???? She questions me, holding back a smile.
???I'd prefer a cheeseburger to be honest.??? She cracks up and Walter writes down our orders.
???What to drink guys???? I look to her.
???Two sweet teas please.??? She smiles at him sweetly and he heads for the back to put in the order. I hear the door slam a little after, which I assume was him going on break. ???So, enjoying your day????
???To be honest, I think you saved my day??? She grinned.
???Yea I'm pretty good at that.???
???What, saving people's days????
???Yes. Well that, and I have killer music instincts.???
???What do you mean by that????
???Dude, I knew Modest Mouse back when they were Humble Hamster.??? I smiled. My phone rang.
???One minute.??? I stepped outside and answered it. It was Mark.
???Hey douche when were you gonna call to talk to your best friend maybe????
???Dude, I can't really talk right now. I'm at lunch with a friend.???
???Well Kyle Morris moves on quick doesn't he? Call me when you aren't going to be a tool. ??? The phone clicked. I stepped back inside just as the food arrived. I sat back down and Alex greeted me with another smile.
???How about a better reaction from this food eh????
???Well, it better live up to it's high standards.??? I sipped my tea and then took a bite. I closed my eyes and reveled in the moment. ???Now this is life-changing???
???Hooray!??? She shouted, throwing her hands in the air.
???Seriously, this is the best food item in the world, guaranteed??? Walter stepped back over.
???Thats great to hear. Hey Barry!???
???What???? I heard from the kitchen.
???Kid says compliments to the chef!???
???He's got good taste!??? I heard Barry reply. Walter looked down at us.
???Do you two mind hurrying it up a little? I got a date with a fox tonight and I want this place to be spotless.??? Alex was first to answer.
???No problem at all my man. Just give us twenty minutes.???
???Sweet, I'll be in the back if you need me.??? Alex looked back at me. I took another bite of my burger and I asked,
???So, where are you from? What part of the city????
???I'm around. What about you????
???Uhm, it's right between Pleasantville and Happytown. Seriously, the place I moved to is almost too nice. Correction, it is too nice.???
???Trust me, I've been there.???
???Where exactly are you fr..??? I was cut off again by Walter.
???Look I'm sorry but we are a little off schedule guys. If you'd like, I can get your food to go.???
???Hey man, it's cool.??? Alex assured. ???To go will be just fine.??? She smiled at him and picked up her purse. I reached for my wallet and she looked at me right away with a look that gave me glimpses of my arms being bitten off. I rested my head on my hands. She paid and left a hearty tip.
???Catch you kids later.??? Walter then bumped my fist again and kissed Alex on the cheek. We stepped out of the small building and back onto the sidewalk.
???That Bryan guy was such a douchebag to you. Are you still into checking out some new books? Because I don't recommend going back there. If you want, I know of this great Indie place downtown.???
???That sounds seriously awesome.???
???Well it is seriously awesome. How much time you got anyway???? I checked my watch and it read 6:07.
???Damn, I have to go. My mom is expecting my sister and me home at seven o'clock.???
???Oh. That's cool. I guess I'll see you later.???
???Yea, for sure. What's your number.???
???You won't need it.??? I gave her a confused look.
???What do you mean? How would I find you in a place like this????
???Eh, Trust me. You'll see me around.???
???But,..??? She turned and walked off without another word. I wanted to chase after her but just then my sister called.
???Where are you? Oh my gosh i had the greatest day today! I met the coolest people around here. I even went into this store called Smoother Books For The Soul, and I met this awesome hipster guy named Bryan and he was so cool. He gave me a membership to the store for an entire month absolutely free! Where did you head off to?
???First off, I met Bryan and he's an absolute tool. Second, he's at least nineteen so don't even go there. Third I..??? I debated about whether to tell her about Alex. I mean who knew if I'd even see her again. ???I just walked around and checked things out. ???
???Well, whatever. Just come pick me up okay? I'm waiting.??? I put my phone away and headed back for the mall. The sun was setting slightly and I didn't want to run into any traffic, so I picked up my speed a little.
Upon passing my dad's building once again, I pictured him in there. At his corporate meeting. In his nicest suit and tie, a fake smile plastered to his face so long I don't know how it doesnt crumble and break. Then I pictured him in his office, Mr. Bigshot with a secretary. It's probably some blond with an unbuttoned blouse to the extent that it much more than surpasses appropriate professionalism. I shook my head snapping out of it. My sister called my name as I approached the doors of the mall.
???Kyle!??? I walked over to her. ???Dude what took you so long????
???Sorry, I was pretty far away.???
???It's cool. Let's get home.??? We headed towards the car and we got in. I thought about Alex and how I hoped she wasn't wrong about being around. Following the directions back home, I pulled into the driveway just in time to see my dad step outside.
???You're late.???
???Dad, it's 7:02.???
???You're mother said seven. Just get inside.??? We walked through the front door and mom looked at me apologetically.
???Honey, he's just had..??? My mother started.
???A hard day mom? Well when is every day gonna stop being such a hard day???? I interrupted.
???Just give him a break, Kyle , he's working non-stop. He's so stressed.???
???He can't blame work. He loves work.??? He never stops working. In fact, that's the...???
???Guys!??? My sister snapped. ???Let's just eat okay???? We sat down. At the table sat so many varieties of food.
???Where did all of this come from???? I asked.
???The neighbors brought by house warming gifts. This is such pleasant community.??? I bit into my tuna salad sandwich. Suddenly this wasn't such a pleasant community after all. I nonchalantly spit it into a napkin. My mom just smiled at me. I wonder how my dad got such a good person to love him.
My mother isn't a necessarily weak person. She doesn't stay with my father out of abandonment issues. She loves him, unconditionally. I just can't understand it. They met in high school, and I'm sure he wasn't a dream then. It probably had something to do with...
???Kyle???? My mom snapped me out of it.
???Yea????
???I asked what did you do today????
???Oh, I met a friend. We ate at this diner near the mall.???
???Is this friend of a separate gender???? My sister butted in.
???I don't know Sadie, how about Bryan???? She turned red. I grinned.
???Who's Bryan???? My father's voice echoed awkwardly through the air.
???Just someone she met at the mall. He worked in one of the stores.??? I said, trying to avoid a scene.
???How old is this Bryan???? He still demanded.
???I don't know, it was hard to decide. There was a lot of people around.??? My father grunted.
???Well, if i see him around, then..???
???You won't dad!??? My sister shouted. The room fell silent. My father poured scotch and sipped.
???So, what do we have here???? My father looked as if nothing had just happened. ???Kyle, how was the tuna salad????
???Absolutely delicious.??? I mumbled before standing up. I started to head down to my room when I hear my father yell.
???Did I say you could be excused from my table???? I shut the door and laid on my bed. I turned on the radio and an old Postal Service song came on. I stared at the poster of the album cover for Peter Bjorn And John's ???Writer's Block??? and thought about soaring from such great heights.

3.
I woke up around three in the morning. the sound of my phone blaring in my ears. Coincidentally Wake Up by Arcade Fire is my ring tone. I checked the I.D. and it was Kassie. I quickly opened my phone. ???Hello????
???Hey.??? Her response was small, as if she'd debated over calling for quite a while, but still hadn't decided what exactly to say. ???Sorry I called so late.???
???It's fine.??? I respond quickly. ???I was hoping you'd call actually. I miss you.???
???You shouldn't.??? Her voice was small again.
???What do you mean by that????
???I guess you made it okay then.??? She replied quickly, disregarding my question.
???Yea. Listen, I thought you didn't want to talk anymore????
???People change their mind's don't they? Anger made me say some pretty stupid things. Listen i called for a reason.???
???Which is????
???I..??? She started. ???I don't know. This was stupid.??? My cheeks flushed and I felt pale. ???I need to go.???
???No don't I still need to..??? The phone clicked. I threw it off the bed and ran my hand through my hair. I counted my breaths and tried to fight the thoughts, but I couldn't. All that went through my mind was the last day I saw her before I left. It was three days before school ended and we both decided to skip and have an all day classic movie marathon.
???What are you even talking about, Jack Lemmon was the all time best.??? I insisted.
???That is an extremely false statement. You've obviously never seen Cary Grant at his finest.???
???But The China Syndrome was the perfect movie!???
???You can't count that, no movies from 1980 and up.??? I grinned at her.
???But it was released in 1979.???
???Oh don't even!??? She laughs and kisses me. It feels right, no other way to describe this particular feeling. Just, right. Our eyes lock. Her smile beams at me. I look down. ???What is it????
???We need to talk about something.??? I feel awful. I know this should have been discussed sooner.
???Okay.??? She smiles again and sits down next to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I put my hand over hers.
???My dad got a new job with the executives in his office.??? I begin. ???The money is really good.???
???Baby, that's great! Hasn't it been tight for your family lately????
???Exactly. That's why he can't pass this opportunity up.???
???Well, I couldn't expect him to. This is a huge deal.???
???There's more.??? My heart feels heavy and I my mouth feels dry. ???The job is located in California. I'm moving.??? The words are out and I realize that this was the first time I've said them aloud. For the first time, I'm forced to accept this fact. I can't bring myself to see her face.
???Oh. Well, you don't have to go right????
???Why wouldn't I????
???Kyle, you're nineteen years old, you don't have to do exactly as your parents say. Stay here with me baby, we can make it work.???
???Kassie, you know that I can't do that.??? Her cheeks went pale for a moment, then red.
???You always let your dad push you around! That's fine with me! Just stay out of my life Kyle Morris!??? She started to walk away and I take her hand, hoping to stop her.
???No Kassie, I don't want things to end this way. This isn't how I want to remember this day!??? She looks directly into my eyes.
???Screw you Kyle. I hate you.??? I feel my mouth go dry and I drop her hand. She storms out of the house and I slowly fall beside my bed and sit. The movie plays. I feel numb.
-
Suddenly, I snap out of it. I'm back in my bed and I decide to go get some water. I step out of bed and walk over to my door. When I open it, I see my father standing there, a smirk on his face.
???I told you that you could do better.???
???I slam the door as hard as I can and lay in bed trying to get back to sleep. I groan feeling too heated to sleep and start beating my pillow with frustration. All I want is her familiar arms around me. The numbing sensation returns and I shut my eyes to think of anything.

4.
I woke up to my sister banging on my door.
???Get out of bed and shower, welcoming party is today!??? I groaned. I had finally gotten to sleep after a grueling three hours, I climbed out of bed and looked at the clock. It read 6:58 A.M. Grabbing a towel, I headed for my bathroom. I started the shower to start the warm up. I set the towel on the stool beside the door and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I needed to shave. Badly.
Undressing, I stepped into the shower and let the hot water run from my head and down my body. I sighed feeling the stress from all week momentarily melting away. I grabbed the remote to my stereo and clicked play. I listened to the soft rhythm of The Spill Canvas while shutting my eyes to focus on the feel of the water hitting my skin. After about twenty minutes, I washed my hair and body.
Upon rinsing off, I stepped out of the shower and reached for my towel. Drying my hair, I wrapped the towel around my waist and reached for the shaving cream. I spread it around my face and slowly slid the razor down my cheek. A loud boom on my door caused me to jerk my arm and cut my chin.
???Hurry, we have ten minutes!??? I heard my mother shout through the wall.
???Okay!??? I sighed as I reached for a wet rag to press to my chin. It stopped bleeding after a while and I finished shaving. I stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to my closet. I pulled out dark jeans and a Pink Floyd T- shirt. I got dressed and hurried upstairs.
???Kyle!??? I looked over to see my mom looking at me with a stressed expression on her face. ???There you are. Let's get going.???
???Mom!??? My sister yelled from upstairs. ???I can't find the shoes to match my dress!??? My mom let out a heavy sigh then looks to me.
???Here, you head over to Pastor Mike Roslyn's house and take this.??? She hands me a large bowl of pasta salad and let me tell you it was heavy.
???Got it, but which house exactly????
???The large white one with a cross on the door. It's two houses over.??? I nod and step out the door. I'm surprised by the heat and hurry across the street and to the left. I knock on the door and almost drop the bowl.
???Hey Kyle.??? Alex says this casually. I could tell she knew this was going to happen soon enough. She was wearing an expensive looking short dark blue dress with Converse shoes and black leggings. Her hair was curled, along with her smile. She took hold of the bowl and nodded for me to come in.
???Well, you really were confident when you said I'd see you around.???
???I could never tell a lie.??? She laughs and sets the food down with the rest. Suddenly, I feel under dressed just to be in this house.
???Wait so that means that Mike is..???
???Yup. He's my dad.??? As soon as she said it, he walked into the room. I refrained myself from saying anything ironic along the lines of 'speak of the devil'.
???Well, hello again Kyle. This is my daughter Alex.??? He says, a smile on his face.
???Yea, we met yesterday.??? she replies. I feel slightly uncomfortable.
???Well, good. Kyle, make yourself at home. Mi casa es tu casa.??? He stepped outside. I heard my mother's voice and I knew they were here. Alex looked over to me.
???Well today should be fun.??? She took my hand and we went outside.
???You have such a nice house. I mean all these houses are pretty awesome. I guess I'm still getting used to the idea of everything here.???
???Oh wow, you're not going to be one of those country guys that,??? she imitates a southern accent,???talks about nothin but the good ol' times. Right???? I laughed and shook my head.
???No, but I would prefer a little less civilization. Like this.??? I motioned to the atmosphere around us. ???I like not so many people surrounding me. I prefer serenity. I hate feeling like I have to fight for territory. I mean I know that back home, there wasn't much to look at, but at least you didn't feel crammed together with hundreds of irritable people.???
???I think I know what you mean. I do get sick of all of this. These people that you see surrounding us, they are so self-absorbed. The only worries around here are completely personal matters. Another thing is, where is their passion? I see people working with things and people they absolutely despise and for what? Mediocre pay and a dead end job? It just doesn't make sense to me. My mom used to be in art school but she dropped out when she said she needed a 'real job'. You should see her paintings, man. They are breath taking.
???I guess she just thought she needed to grow up.???
???What does that even mean Kyle? Because all of these people with the jobs they hate, I'm sure they had dreams. If 'growing up' means 'giving up', I'll pass.??? She fell back into the grass and laid down. I thought about these words. It made sense.
???I never thought about it that way. I mean, from the way my dad explained the reality to me of what my future should be, it involved a lot of 'buckling down and getting my head out of my ass'. He wants me to follow his footsteps and become a full time editor, for his company nonetheless.??? I fall down beside her and look up to the sky. The wind blows and the clouds roll.
???Well, what do you want to do, dude????
???What do you mean????
???I mean, what do you like to do that makes you who you are? What are your goals and passions? What do you want to do???? The words played over in my head. What did I want to do?
???I don't know really. I've never really been given the option. Well, I mean sure when I was in Kindergarten and they would ask what did I wanna be when I grew up, but I'm hardly cut out to be an astronaut.??? She giggled and looked at me.
???Why the hell not man? If you wanna be an astronaut go be an astronaut. We shouldn't only get the option in Kindergarten.??? I grinned.
???You're right. I'm still not going to be an astronaut though.???
???Trust me I think I understand. Nor am I going to be a ballerina.???
???What do you want to do Alex? What dream upholds all of your talents and passions? Your desires and goals.???
???I want to be a social worker. I want to be able to help kids that think that the world is against them. I want them to understand that, regardless of their situation, they aren't alone. Probably sounds really clich?? and typical right????
???No, I can honestly say that I thin what you plan to do is extremely noble and I have faith that one day, my friend Alexander Roslyn, will change lives. She blushes lightly and smiles wide.
???That means a lot more than you know, Kyle.???
What's with that though????
???What's with what???
???Well,??? I sat up. ???your name is Alexander. Why not Alexandria? Or something else more feminine.???
???My dad had this crazy obsession with Alexander the Great. He wanted a boy to follow in his powerful footsteps of greatness. I was hardly a filler to that insane void. My dad almost had me go with him to a missionary assignment with him in Africa to preach to ten year olds. I was eight. That's just in example of how much he wants me to be an influence, but I like the name. I feel like it suits me.???
???Why is that???? I ask.
???Because, it's strong and formal. People hear a name like that it raises their expectations. Also, it's different and unpredictable. Why go with the expected mainstream of the world? Not to mention, God knows I love to keep people guessing.??? She smiles, with a hint of her signature slyness to her lips. ???Who wants to be predictable???? I smiled back and then my phone rang. It was Jackie.
???One second okay???? I said to Alex. ???Hello????
???I miss you.??? A whiny voice chimed into my ear.
???Do you need anything, Jackie?'
???What, I can't miss my boyfriend????
???We aren't together. At all. We never even have been. I don't comprehend why you hang onto this delusion.???
???Oh, shut up Kyle you know you can barely exist without me. Jeesh you must be suffering so badly without me, baby.??? I rolled my eyes.
???Look, now isn't a good time.???
???Whatever. Just make it a good time.???
???No, seriously I'm with a friend.???
???Well, don't you move on quick.??? Why did everyone always say that? I heard Alex's voice behind me.
???What's wrong, man????
???Oh wow, was that a girl? I guess you do move on quick.??? I shut my phone and slid it into my pocket.
???What was that about dude???? Alex looked at me questioningly.
???Trust me, nothing important.??? She shrugged and took my hand, helping me up.
???My dad said food's ready. Are you????
???Well,??? I brush the grass off of myself. ???as ready as I can be I suppose.??? She locks arms with me and we head back inside. We both grab a drink and head out to the front. Within the past few minutes, tables, chair, and a rather large food selection had been laid out. I recognized Randy at the table sitting with a blond wearing jean shorts, a Blink-182 T-shirt, and some rainbow colored shoes I had yet to meet. Alex stepped over to them. Randy was the first to speak.
???Hey, new kid is here.??? The blond reaches her hand out to me.
???I'm Claire.??? I shake her hand and she smiles shyly.
???Kyle.??? As I let go of her hand, I turned in time to see Pastor Mike starting his speech of officially introducing us.
???I would like everyone to greet and accept this wonderful new family to our neighborhood. On behalf of everyone here, I give you all my utmost welcoming.??? There was clapping and a polite smile on my mother's face. My father stepped up next to Mike and put on his most charming smile. He started to say something but all I heard was what he was really saying. What I saw right through. This is what he faked.
???I would just like to say, it's an honor to now live in such a peaceful and accepting community. Every person I have met so far has been very kind to me and my family. Thank you for your warm welcoming gifts. I would also like to give a special thank you for Pastor Mike Roslyn for arranging this wonderful get together for all of us. Everybody, please, a round of applause for Pastor Mike. Everyone clapped and my father sipped his scotch. This is what he really meant.
???I would just like to say, it's quite a relief that you are all a weak and unsuspecting community. That really makes this image seem much more believable. All of you know I have money and are kissing my ass with food and warm welcoming so that, one day, you might get a favor from me. I really want to thank this guy Mike who apparently is the leader around here for allowing me to exploit this image to you all. Everyone, clap for the big man.??? Of course no one else heard it like me. Mike spoke again.
???Thank you for your kind appreciation and I hope that you remain happy here. Now everybody, how about we eat???? Around me were cheers of agreement. I looked to Alex who was already starting to fill her plate. I got in line behind her and did the same.
???You need to give you dad some credit, that was pretty nice for someone you resent so much.??? She starts.
???I assure you it's all the nice guy routine he upholds. It's like I'm the only one that can see right through him.???
???Maybe you just see him in a different light, which is absolutely understandable. Just give him a couple more chances. What's wrong with the benefit of the doubt every now and then??? I considered what she said and nodded to myself, knowing she was right.
???I don't get it.??? We sat down at the table. ???What do you see that in him that I fail to????
???In who???? Randy asks, sitting next to us, Claire at his side.
???Nothing man.??? Alex says. ???What are your plan for the rest of the day anyway????
???I was thinking about kicking it with some new CDs and a few new books. Why, anything better in mind, dude????
???I always have something better in mind, man. How about we go down to old movie theater and see some classic flicks.???
???I'm game. Claire, baby you in???? Claire nods and blushes slightly. ???Kyle, you going???? Alex looks to me.
???Dude, seriously if you don't go, you will not live it down.??? I laugh and agree to it.
???Okay guys. I'm in. What's playing anyway???? Randy chimes in.
???Does it matter man? I mean that's the beauty of a classic movie theater. You just go, watch whatever lame movie is playing and, if all goes correctly, you wish you still had that two hours of your life back. Basically, they're a reminder that you could be doing something much more constructive with your time and yet, we decide to waste it. Happy thoughts right???? Alex scowled.
???Don't disrespect my theater, man. Tonight they're showing Clerks and Clerks Two.???
???Jay is the best character in that movie, for sure.??? Randy says.
???No way,??? I start. ???Dante is obviously the best character. He realizes in the end that he needs to stop blaming the world and get his act together.???
???You are both wrong.??? Alex argues. ???First off, Jay is a stoner who's mouth is always before his brain. Second of all, Dante would still be in his miserable little rut had it not been for Randal bringing him back down to earth. Besides, those two would be the obvious favorites.???
???So, I'm guessing your favorite character would be Randal then???? I ask, thinking I understand what she's getting at.
???No.??? She says simply. ???I think that Randal is a self obsessed jerk who happened to make a couple of good points. The real hero is Silent Bob.???
???What gives you that idea???? Randy questions, an interested look on his face.
???Think about it. Not only does he keep Jay in his place, he's a silent thinker. Never talking must really make you notice quite few things, am I wrong? He spends his time watching and listening. He was aware of the entire situation before any of the other characters understood.???
???Still,??? Randy continues. ???how would that make him the hero if all he does is notice???? Her reply was simple.
???What is to be learned from being spoon fed the answers? Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let someone solve their own problems.???
_ _ _

After I got home from the party, I went down to my room. I turned on the television and watched some re-runs of Full House. I would watch this show, thinking it was absolutely hilarious and yes, suddenly I'm seeing just how unrealistic it all is. There's no way that any family could be that close right? I mean, families just don't get that close. Isn't that just the natural order of things? I turned it off and lied down onto my back. I stared at my ceiling and sighed deeply. I turned on my stereo and listened to Matt and Kim. I decided no family could be that close. This is the natural order of things, isn't it?

5.