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Firestar18
  1. Siggy I bought =]
    9th Jan 2012 20:38
    12 years, 11 months & 17 days ago
  2. Minx
    5th Apr 2011 16:29
    13 years, 8 months & 23 days ago
  3. Zayli
    25th Mar 2011 15:51
    13 years, 9 months & 3 days ago
  4. Glass kitten
    25th Mar 2011 14:27
    13 years, 9 months & 3 days ago
  5. Snuffle
    20th Mar 2011 11:29
    13 years, 9 months & 8 days ago
  6. Vauge
    18th Mar 2011 14:28
    13 years, 9 months & 10 days ago
  7. Cupcat :3
    15th Mar 2011 18:00
    13 years, 9 months & 13 days ago
  8. Vullas
    14th Mar 2011 06:18
    13 years, 9 months & 14 days ago
  9. Thank you kitten7up^^!
    13th Mar 2011 18:20
    13 years, 9 months & 15 days ago
  10. Stargazer <3
    5th Mar 2011 21:16
    13 years, 9 months & 23 days ago
Outer Space
14 years, 4 months & 5 days ago
23rd Aug 2010 22:02

Outer Space

When the moon is out, the wolves comeout to play, when the sun is up the moon is down. With stars high up into the sky, the beauty of outer space is everywhere, with shower of stars. To the drifting astriods drifting around outer space.

When the stars are glistenings it's like light that's shining brightly in outer space. But there are the dark sides of outer space, with the black hole, it maybe dark and scary but it's so beautiful with on how it keeps on sucking on items that drift towards it. When space rockets are in space exploring the beauty of outer space they will one day realize on how beautiful it is to live in outer space.

Firestar18
Thank you Eric, I've changed the word one to moon =P. I was really bored when I wrote it so it was something random from my brain lol.
114 years, 4 months & 5 days ago 23rd Aug 2010 22:19
 
other then those remarks the imagery is very good and I and probably the other readers after me will be able to visualize all this easily
114 years, 4 months & 5 days ago 23rd Aug 2010 22:09
 
I like it

through a poet changes several things when it comes to poems a few things i noticed was that obviously you haven't structured it like a freehand poem, instead of moon you put one in the very first line unless it is supposed to be one as well try to find different words when describing something it helps if you have a broader vocabulary so your not always using the same words
114 years, 4 months & 5 days ago 23rd Aug 2010 22:09
 
  1. Siggy I bought =]
    9th Jan 2012 20:38
    12 years, 11 months & 17 days ago
  2. Minx
    5th Apr 2011 16:29
    13 years, 8 months & 23 days ago
  3. Zayli
    25th Mar 2011 15:51
    13 years, 9 months & 3 days ago
  4. Glass kitten
    25th Mar 2011 14:27
    13 years, 9 months & 3 days ago
  5. Snuffle
    20th Mar 2011 11:29
    13 years, 9 months & 8 days ago
  6. Vauge
    18th Mar 2011 14:28
    13 years, 9 months & 10 days ago
  7. Cupcat :3
    15th Mar 2011 18:00
    13 years, 9 months & 13 days ago
  8. Vullas
    14th Mar 2011 06:18
    13 years, 9 months & 14 days ago
  9. Thank you kitten7up^^!
    13th Mar 2011 18:20
    13 years, 9 months & 15 days ago
  10. Stargazer <3
    5th Mar 2011 21:16
    13 years, 9 months & 23 days ago