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devilfromheaven
  1. Random pixels
    7th Feb 2011 13:26
    13 years, 10 months & 20 days ago
  2. Maria & Fantasia
    6th Feb 2011 09:33
    13 years, 10 months & 21 days ago
  3. My dino's ^^
    5th Feb 2011 13:16
    13 years, 10 months & 22 days ago
  4. Some cute animal Pixels ^^
    5th Feb 2011 08:12
    13 years, 10 months & 22 days ago
  5. My Cakesters
    5th Feb 2011 07:46
    13 years, 10 months & 22 days ago
  6. Elsey
    3rd Feb 2011 13:34
    13 years, 10 months & 24 days ago
  7. Dear Secret Admirer,
    2nd Feb 2011 12:00
    13 years, 10 months & 25 days ago
  8. My Stargazer's
    1st Feb 2011 11:59
    13 years, 10 months & 26 days ago
  9. My Lysal's
    31st Jan 2011 12:58
    13 years, 10 months & 27 days ago
  10. My Dashew's
    31st Jan 2011 12:41
    13 years, 10 months & 27 days ago
The line between life and death (Sequel)
14 years, 4 months & 19 days ago
10th Aug 2010 07:32

I could hear voices all around me, muttering. I could hear my mum's aswell. I didn't want her hear, she basically killed my brother. Who's to say she wouldn't do the same for me? I was guessing that I was in a coma. I wasn't religious, but I believed in my guardian angel. "Thank you for not letting me die." I said inside my head. "Please, keep me alive. I wish you could do the same for my brother. Keep him safe in heaven." I said, sighing. I had survived, but I was in a coma. Most likely on life support. I could die any time soon.

"Baby, wake up. Kayleigh, please. I love you. I'm so sorry about your brother, but I can't lose you. Please. Wake up." She was shaking me hard. I could tell she was crying, but all I could do was murmur. "Kayleigh! You're still alive!" She said, sounding shocked. I was so close to dying... I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for. "Mum." I muttered, wanting to wake up. But I couldn't. The line between life and death was keeping my eyes shut, all I could see was the madwoman, beckoning me into death. I tried to force my eyes open. It didn't work. I lay still, I couldn't hear my mum anymore. All I could hear was a faint beep. The life support machine.

"Please don't turn it off." I whispered inside my head. I couldn't be unconscious, but I knew that death was taking over my body. I couldn't let it win. I wanted to live, for my brother. I even wanted to help out disabled people, maybe even start my own charity to make sure they are safe and they always have someone with them. All for my brother. I wanted, no needed, to live. My body felt numb, I could hear the beeping no more. My body lay still, and I all I could hear was my mum, shouting. "NO! MY BABY! PLEASE! TAKE MY LIFE INSTEAD OF HERS!"

It hit me that I was going to die. The nurses said there was nothing more they could do. The beeping could be heard no more, and my mum was taken out screaming and shouting at the nurses telling them to save me. So this is death. Maybe that woman was right, maybe I did need to die. I could feel a sheet being put over me. Death had won. "I'm coming Aidan!" Was all I could think of. I was dead. Dead. No life left in my. "Goodbye world." I thought, and I shut my eyes forever. Giving up, I knew I was going to die all along. I hope there is a heaven, I said to myself.
The end.

Tay001
it was a bit shorter and looks a bit rushed but still really good
114 years, 4 months & 18 days ago 12th Aug 2010 00:43
 
Amazing, once again<3
114 years, 4 months & 19 days ago 10th Aug 2010 17:09
 
Lol yh a new a paragraph? do you mean a new line? Yh I know, I should :/
114 years, 4 months & 19 days ago 10th Aug 2010 10:46
 
I suggest starting a new paragraph every time the speaker changes. That would make it easier to read.

It was good, just a little confusing.
114 years, 4 months & 19 days ago 10th Aug 2010 10:22
 
Grr! Stupid typos Ah well even stephenie meyer rushed at the end of breaking dawn so hey...
114 years, 4 months & 19 days ago 10th Aug 2010 08:06
 
Great story! And yea towards the end u kinda did, but I do the same lol
114 years, 4 months & 19 days ago 10th Aug 2010 08:02
 
Sorry it's really short, I didn't rush it though. It doesn't look rushed right?
114 years, 4 months & 19 days ago 10th Aug 2010 07:45
 
  1. Random pixels
    7th Feb 2011 13:26
    13 years, 10 months & 20 days ago
  2. Maria & Fantasia
    6th Feb 2011 09:33
    13 years, 10 months & 21 days ago
  3. My dino's ^^
    5th Feb 2011 13:16
    13 years, 10 months & 22 days ago
  4. Some cute animal Pixels ^^
    5th Feb 2011 08:12
    13 years, 10 months & 22 days ago
  5. My Cakesters
    5th Feb 2011 07:46
    13 years, 10 months & 22 days ago
  6. Elsey
    3rd Feb 2011 13:34
    13 years, 10 months & 24 days ago
  7. Dear Secret Admirer,
    2nd Feb 2011 12:00
    13 years, 10 months & 25 days ago
  8. My Stargazer's
    1st Feb 2011 11:59
    13 years, 10 months & 26 days ago
  9. My Lysal's
    31st Jan 2011 12:58
    13 years, 10 months & 27 days ago
  10. My Dashew's
    31st Jan 2011 12:41
    13 years, 10 months & 27 days ago