All about Chain Letters!


PLEASE if you feel the same way, FEEL FREE to put this in your profile!!

Hello, my name is none of your business. I am suffering from seven
rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being
mauled by squirrels, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion chain
letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a potato
growing out of her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have
it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling
freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh,
looky here if I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll meet the
girl (or guy) of my dreams tomorrow. What a bunch of junk. So
basically, this
message is directed to all the people out there who have nothing
better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the
evil letter
leprechauns will come into my house and write "I'm a moron" on my
forehead in permanent marker in my sleep for not continuing the chain
which was started by a knight of the round table and was brought to
this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower, and if it makes it
to the year 2007 it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for
longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you're going to
forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've
seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from
some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. It's getting old.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type #1
(scroll down)

Make a wish
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No, really, go on and make one
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Oh please, they'll never go out with you
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Wish something else
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No, I'm sorry, we're out of ponies at the time being
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Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet?
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STOP

Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish


Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be
kidnapped by ninja elves and thrown off a high building into a pile of
manure. It's true, because THIS letter isn't like all of those fake
ones, THIS one is TRUE. Really.

Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be annoyed with you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed with you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed with you for
sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed with you for
sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house. Thanks.
Good luck.


Chain Letter Type #2 Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You
see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has
no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life
could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will
be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no
way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of
junk.

So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh,
and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you
will die instantly. Thanks again.


Chain Letter Type #3:

Hi there! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not
as many email addicts with nothing better to do.

So this is how it works:
1. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to you like:

Bizarre Horror Story #1
Amanda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe in a flood of poop, and went flying out over a waterfall.
Not only did she smell nasty, she died too. This Could Happen To You!

Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day he was crushed by an anvil that was dropped
by a plane that just happened to be flying directly above him. This
Could Happen To You Too!!

2. Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send
this letter to all of your friends, and everything will be okay.


Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of
your friends.

Friends
Blah, Blah, Blah, Friends,
Blah, Blah, Blah.

A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants
his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on. If you don't, no one will like you for as long as
you live. I mean it, as long as you live.



The point being?
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you
friendless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on. Don't annoy people by making them feel
guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a
dead elephant for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents
per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll
end up like Amanda. Right?

*******Now forward this to 4,968,837,873 people in the next 60 seconds
otherwise a couple of obese sock-hungry unicorns are going to eat all
your underwear tonight.