Funneh Shtuff

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of
Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought??...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
privates."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!

On a hearth rug:
"Keep away from fire"
(So the point of buying it is??)

On a RAZOR scooter: This product moves when used.(Your kidding! I wanted a statue)

On a Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Keep out of children
(But I want to stab them)

On a Stick Deodorant:
Instructions: Pull off top and push up bottom
(I wouldn't have thought of that.)

On a baby stroller
Take out the child before folding the stroller (Because a child would fit when it is folded)

On a bottle of mildew cleaner used in cleaning tub and tile mildew: Use in a well ventilated area (If the area was well ventilated you wouldn't have the mildew in the first place)