Daisy

It's been a week today since my dog, Daisy, crossed the bridge. I am so heartbroken. So so much. I can't bring myself to look at all the photos I took and videos. The day she went, it has snowed just a little the night before and her prints were in the snow. The next day it warmed up and it was so hard, knowing the prints were going to go away. The last pieces of her. She slept with me every night for 10 years. It's like part of me is gone. My other dog, Fluffy, died the first week of April this year. I think it's been so much harder because now I am alone. ALONE. My daughter is home this past week and this week from college but that is just temporary. It's so strange not having to get up in the morning to take Daisy outside, not having to do this or that because of her. I catch myself starting to say something to her or about her. Her leaving wasn't unexpected. She was old. It was her spine that became the problem. She began to have pain. And it became apparent that it couldn't be fixed and one day her back legs gave out while we were outside and she gave me the saddest look I've ever seen. My heart broke. I knew she was ready. No matter how much I know we did the right thing and I wouldn't want her to hurt anymore, I surely wish I could have her back, if only for a few moments more. It's only been a week but it feels like forever and yet not real. I just want to wake up and find it's been a nightmare and that there she is, looking at me with her squished face from sleeping. I'll get on but it's gonna be hard.