The {True} Story of the Vain Elf

((Written in 3rd person))

[center]The {True} Story of the Vain Elf[/center]


It was December 15, 2011 and it had been a brutal winter up at the north pole.
[center]"Santa," said the Head Elf as he barged into Santa's cabin, "We are behind schedule by 4682 toys! 4682!!"
"No!" Santa shouted in shock.
"Yes! It's true, if the other elves don't step up their game, Christmas won't be able to happen this year. We are no where near ready!"
"Well, what is the matter?! Why aren't the elves making as many toys as they usually do?"
"It's the weather." Head Elf sighed. He walked over to the window that allowed him to see the Elf's cabins. Numerous elves were trudging through the deep snow and trying to walk against the gusts of wind. "They just can't get to work as easy, and the cold is making them sick! SICK! The elves never get sick!"
"It's that bad?" Santa asked. He walked over to Head Elf who was still peering out the window.
"That bad." Head Elf stated.
Santa sighed and took a seat on the big red recliner sitting by the blazing fireplace. "Tell the others that a meeting will be conducted tonight at 8 PM in the conference room. It is a mandatory meeting; those who don't attend will be exiled at once."
"But what about the ill elves, Santa?"
"Make a list of the sick ones and give it to me before 8 PM, they will be excused."[/center]

Head Elf nodded in understanding and waved goodbye. He opened the door and it was slammed shut by a gust of wind. Mrs. Claus walked into the living room where Santa sat, his head in his hands.

[center]"Santa, is all okay?" She asked worriedly.
"I'm afraid not, our toy production is at it's worst ever and I'm not sure we'll make enough by the time Christmas arrives."
"Sure you will," She beamed, "You've never missed Christmas before, even in tough situations!"
"Well, we've also never been short 4682 toys." Santa sighed. He stood up and looked out the window at the elves. "They're struggling, I feel bad for the poor guys."[/center]

Mrs. Clause put her hand on Santa's shoulder and peered out with him. She sighed deeply and walked back into the kitchen where she was preparing breakfast. Santa threw on his jacket and his hat and went outside. He was tempted to go into the workshop, but decided against it and just went over to the reindeer stalls instead.

Meanwhile, in the workshop...

[center]"Let's go, Elves! We are behind!" Head Elf shouted.
"We can't go any faster, Head Elf!!" Hairy Elf yelled back.
"Yeah! Go back to Santa's cabin and continue kissing his cherry red a--"
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, VAIN ELF!" Honest Elf interrupted. She was (of course) yelling at none other than the Vain Elf.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Excuse me." Responded Vain Elf.[/center]

Honest Elf rolled her eyes and continued in the forklift across the workshop. Head Elf approached Vain Elf stopped her.

[center]"Vain!" He called to her.
"Me?" Vain Elf asked pointing at herself.
"Yes, you. Come here." Head Elf frustratingly spoke.
"Is everything okay?" Vain Elf asked.
Head Elf sarcastically laughed. "Just peachy." He replied.
"That's great!! Well, goodbye." Vain Elf smiled and continued on her way.
"NO!" Head Elf angrily shouted. Vain Elf stopped and turned around. Head Elf motioned her to come back and she sighed. "We are down almost 5 thousand toys, Vain, you need to stop looking at yourself and start working."
"I do work, check my log!" Vain Elf confidently spoke.
Head Elf rolled his eyes and pulled out her log from the log book.
"Let's see...Vain...Vain...Vain," he mumbled as he flipped through pages," Ah, here we go, Vain Elf!"
Vain Elf smiled and peered into the book. "See?!"
"Vain Elf: December 10- 24 toys. December 11- 15 toys. December 12- 34 toys. December 13- 12 toys. December 14- 8 toys. December 15- 4 toys. And it continues to decrease from there. VAIN! Do you realize all the other elves are making over 10 times that, and the best ones over 50 times! If you don't get you game up, well, I'm afraid you may be banished..."
"BANISHED?! No, Santa would never!"
"Want a bet?" Head Elf asked. Vain Elf shook her head and sighed. "Look Vain, I like you; we all like you--"
"Well, all of you except Honest Elf." Vain Elf interrupted.
Head Elf closed his eyes and sighed, "Honest Elf likes no one, but as I was saying, WE LIKE YOU and we'd hate to see you go. However, we'd hate to see a year without Christmas even more. So please, just do your job!"[/center]

Vain Elf nodded and stuck her hand mirror in her pocket. She hung her head and walked off towards her station. She could feel all the other elves staring at her, their glares burned into her; she could smell her flesh cooking. She knew they were going to talk about her, if they weren't already, and she knew that when Head Elf said that they all liked her that he was lying. None of them liked her, "They just like my looks." She sighed.

She reached her station and she followed the mandatory workshop conduct:
1)Long hair was to be pulled back when working around the machinery.
She pulled her hair back into a pony and followed the next step.
2)Long sleeves weren't to be worn around the machinery. If sleeves were present, they were to be rolled up the above the elbows.
She rolled her sleeves up and continued to rule three.
3)Be happy, happy, happy!
She took the corners of her mouth and pulled them up with her hands. When she pulled her hands back, the smile turned upside down and back into a frown.

She started up the conveyor belt, and put all the rubber wheels onto the toy cars. "One, two three four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four." It was always repetition. Nothing ever changed here in the workshop. You were always assigned the same toy, every year. It was boring, very, very boring.

Suddenly, a voice came on over the PA system in the workshop. "Please power off all machinery." It was Head Elf. The elves did as they were told and turned off the machines. "Thank you. It has come to my attention that we are almost 5000 toys behind schedule. We must get these toys made by Christmas Eve. This requires an extreme amount of perseverance, determination, and effort. Any elves caught off-task will be sent to Santa to be dealt with as needed. Also, there will be a mandatory meeting scheduled for tonight at 8 PM in the conference room. Again, this is a mandatory meeting, and you are required to attend. Any elves caught skipping will be banished from the north pole." The elves on the work floor gasped. "Carry on." Head Elf finished.

Vain Elf stood there wide-eyed. She had to work harder, she knew the consequences, and she couldn't bare thinking about them let alone having them actually happen. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but saw no one. "AH!" She shouted as she was spooked out of her thoughts.

[center]"Shhhh! Calm down, it's just me, Invisible Elf!"
"Oh. Thank goodness," Vain Elf spoke relieved, "What do you want?"
"You heard Head Elf, right?"
Vain Elf frowned. "Yeah, I heard."
"Well, be sure you do what him and Santa tell you! As much as you may feel like you aren't wanted here, you truly are, and I'd hate to see you go."
"Thanks, Invisible."
"Anytime." Invisible Elf said. As he was leaving he flipped back on Vain Elf's machine.
"Thanks." Vain Elf giggled.[/center]

Later that night...

The elves started flooding into the conference room and wanted for Santa to arrive. They were all a little nervous, Vain Elf especially. As if what Head Elf said wasn't enough, now she had to here it from the big man himself. She took a seat in the far back in a row all by herself. She took out her mirror and began making faces. "Pose, pose, pose," She heard in her head, "Pose, pose, pose."

A few minutes later, the large wooden doors were flung open and a gust of brisk wind blew in. The elves all shielded themselves as best they could from the air. "Let's get rolling!" Santa shouted.

[center]"Honest Elf, did Head Elf make you all aware of our current predicament?" Santa asked.
"Yes, Sir, he made us aware." She answered.
"Well then, I'm sure you all know how serious this is. Yes?"
"Yes, Sir." The elves responded simultaneously.
"We've never been so far behind, and as I look through your logs, I can also see we've never had such lazy elves. What do you have to say for yourselves?"
"We apologize, Santa. The weather lately has just really gotten us out of the cheery holiday spirit." Guilty Elf apologized. She started to cry.
Santa rolled his eyes. "To meet our requirements, some elves will need to stay up past bed time to make toys."
The room erupted in moan, groans, complaints, and whines.
"ORDER! ORDER!" Shouted Head Elf as he swung his gavel.
"I'm sorry, Elves, but it's our only shot at making this. I have a list set up in the worksop that tells you who stays up what nights. You also will be receiving a call in a little bit if it is your night tonight. Again, I'm sorry, but we have to do this. Meeting adjourned."[/center]

Santa stood up and left the room, with that, shouts roared and filled the room. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, LAZY!" Shouted Workaholic Elf. Head Elf began hitting his gavel. "STOP IT! STOP IT ALL OF YOU! I want you all to your cabins. If you receive a call, report to the workshop immediately."

The elves began filing out of the conference room and into their cabins. Slamming doors echoed across the village and when there was finally silence, the calls were made.

Ring, Ring, Ring. Ring, Ring, Ring.

"No no no no no no no no no nooooo!" Vain Elf cried as her phone rang.

[center] "Hello?" She answered grumpily.
"Vain?"
"Yes?"
"It's Mrs. Clause, how're you doing sweetie?"
"Just dandy." Vain Elf replied sarcastically.
"I'm sorry sweetie, but it's your night to stay up down at the workshop."
"I figured. Thank you, Mrs. C!"
"Anytime, sweetie."[/center]

The other end went dead, and Vain hung the phone up. She put on her coat, and drug her feet out the door. She ran as quickly as possible to the workshop as she could. Once she got there, she was able to see who else was staying up. "Great. Those that hate me most." Vain sighed. She hung her coat up in locker and continued over to her station.

[center]"Oh, Vain! Just who I was looking for!" Said Head Elf.
"Yes, Head?"
"Tonight we are having you work over here on the baby blocks."
"The baby blocks? What do I do?"
"Just stick these plastic mirrors onto the top of the fabric block and then stick it in the bin."
"M-m-m-m-mirrors? Have you forgotten that I am the Vain Elf, here? Mirrors are normally taken from me, not given to me..."
"I know, I know, but we have no one else. You can do it!"[/center]

Head Elf walked off and left Vain Elf at the Baby Blocks station. "Get a grip, Vain, prove them wrong!" She told herself. She powered on the conveyor belt and started attaching the mirrors. It was actually going great! She was paying attention to her work, rather than her looks. "I'm doing it!" She cheered. Unfortunately, she spoke too soon.

All was going well until Vain began to feel a little sleepy. She caught a glimpse of herself in one of the mirrors. "Oh Vainy-Vain! Look at those bags developing under your eyes!" She spoke to herself. She picked up the mirror and began analyzing the bags up-close. Without her knowledge, more blocks and more blocks were falling off the end of the conveyor belt and onto the floor at the end of it. "Hey gorgeous!" Vain said to herself. She began winking and making other faces into the mirror. Honest Elf was carrying a large stack of presents that obstructed her sight. Next thing you know, Honest Elf was on the ground screaming and hollering because she tripped over the blocks and now her presents had toppled over.

[center]"Way to go, Vain!" Honest screamed.
"I'm sorry, I knew that this station wouldn't work, Honest!"
"Well look at this mess, all my presents need rewrapped because of you!"
[/center]

The two continued going back and forth with the insults. Lazy Elf was walking across the workshop, paying no attention to his surroundings. Suddenly, Lazy had stepped on a skateboard that had rolled out of it's box when Honest Elf tripped. "WOOOOAH, WOOOAH, WOAH!!!" Lazy yelled, and BANG! He had crashed right into the corner of the workshop where all of the finished presents were stacked. All the presents were scattered across the floor. It all needed redone.

Santa had heard the loud crash and rushed into the workshop. "WHAT IS GOING ON?!" He yelled. "HEAD ELF!"

[center]"Yes?" Head Elf answered.
"What has happened here?"
"I don't really know, you see, I was busy looking at the logs."
"HONEST!!" Santa called.
"Yes, Santa?" Honest replied.
"Explain...this." Santa said gesturing towards all the open presents on the ground.
"Vain. She wasn't paying attention to her work, and made me trip and fall! That made my presents spill out, and poor lazy here stepped on one of my skateboards and crashed into these gifts! It's all Vain's fault!"
Santa sighed. "Vain, come here."
Vain gulped and approached Santa. "I'm sorry, sir." She said as she hung her head.
"Vain, I'm sorry, but you are being exiled. I can't risk this happening again."
"But sir!!"
"No, Vain. One of the reindeer will fly you to the South Pole tomorrow. Please go back to the cabins and pack your bags."
"But--"
"Go, Vain."
"Okay." She sighed.[/center]

She put her coat on and slowly shut the workshop door. The walk to her cabin felt like years, was it because she was embarrassed, or because it was her last? She wasn't quite sure. She got back to the cabin, and packed all of her belongings in her gold bags. She set them by the door and went to bed thinking of all she's failed at while working at the North Pole.

The next morning, she threw her bags into the bag of the small sleigh that was hooked up to Dancer. She waved goodbye to all the other elves who payed almost no attention to her departure. She frowned, and acted like it didn't bother her. She hopped into the sleigh. "Goodbye Santa, goodbye Mrs. C." She spoke as a tear streamed down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Vain, but it's for the best." Santa sighed,
"Goodbye, sweetie." Mrs C. cried. She blew her nose and then wiped her eyes. "Have fun elsewhere."

Once given the signal, Dancer began the journey to the South Pole with Vain. This was Vain's last time in the North Pole, and she began to feel okay with that. It had been all tears and sadness, but in all reality, she didn't belong there. Who knows, maybe she was truly a South Pole elf.

"Goodbye, North Pole, goodbye."