How can a person be so cold?

I ask this question as I took my wonderful little girl today to Tim Hortons (A coffee and donut shop) here today and when we left I spotted her father driving into the establishment in his little black car. His window was opened and I looked down at ???amaya and with a smile on my face (I was not ignorant to her father, I didn't bash, or yell at him) and said to her "Hey sunshine there's daddy, wave to him." She smiled and did so... and his response...


He grabbed his sunglasses, shoved them on his face, turned his head from us and drove on. Not even a smile, he didn't wave back at his daughter... nothing.

June 7th will mark 3 years since he walked out on us. He's not once contacted us. He doesn't support her in anyway. It's a shame as I've been informed he's told people she's not his. (I pray all the time those are rumors... but somehow today's fiasco tells me it's not likely) She's asked me several times in the last 2 years "Doesn't daddy like me?" It makes me heart SHATTER every time I have to bite my tongue and lie to her saying "I'm sure he does sunshine, he's just so very busy. I'm sorry he's not here."

Today he proved he doesn't give a damn about her at all. Just himself.


Two years ago I wrote this from her point of view...
I think it truly suits how I feel about his behavior towards her today.



You should have been there
by Ragdonly, Sep 16, 2012, 7:21:36 PM

You left one day back in June
without out so much as a good-bye.
You passed on judgement of my mom
and hurt her with your lies.
I was only ten months old and had
just learned to walk.
I'd be saying how much you hurt
me if only I could talk.

The stories you tell people to make
yourself look so big
are only one more splinter in my
soul and deeper they dig.
You will regret your actions,
the lies that had been told,
for there will never again be
a day my heart you will hold.

I'm only little and growing fast,
my learning new and the world so vast.
Soon the questions will come out
"Why isn't daddy here?" is what I'll ask.
Mommy will hold me and tell me
that Daddy loved me but chose to go away.
I will wonder for years to come,
how come Mommy couldn't make him stay?

In time I will learn from friends and
family the awful truth that I was
sheltered from. That my dad didn't want
me and he ran away from my brother,
me and my mom.
I will learn the stories he told
to hurt my mom's heart because he was
so mad, but what will be the worse thing
is that he never took the time to really
be my dad.

So as I grow I will guided to be the
best I can be, you're missing out on
special days milestones that I have mastered.
I will conquer my world and learn new ways
to look at life because I have a mom who
truly loves me and really cared. Too bad
you didn't daddy...
You know you really should have been there!

Sylvia White (Ragdonly)
September 15th, 2012