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JakeAnnalea
  1. I love him more than you could imagine
    28th Jul 2010 00:57
    14 years, 5 months & 2 days ago
  2. My words
    22nd Apr 2010 12:54
    14 years, 8 months & 7 days ago
  3. ......
    20th Apr 2010 18:51
    14 years, 8 months & 9 days ago
  4. We had some memories
    2nd Feb 2010 14:06
    14 years, 10 months & 25 days ago
We had some memories
14 years, 10 months & 25 days ago
2nd Feb 2010 14:06

I once had a friend.He moved away.

I remember swinging on the tire swing with him in kindergarten.

We had some memories.

I remember the day his daddy beat him,he told me.
We got through it together.

We had some memories.

I remember the day we swam in the creek,splashing around.

We had some memories.

I remember when you didnt come to school that day.

I had some memories.

I remember the day turned into a week,and you finally showed.
You were bruised and hurting.

We had some memories.

I remember your funeral.I was crying.
Then I took a look at your short life with me.

I smiled and thought,we had some memories.

You moved to Heaven and someday I will be there with you.

JakeAnnalea
well majette,i know exactly how it feels.cancer claimed my Grandma Vina and my Aunt Jill in one year.Aunt Jill had a baby and a 4 year old.
114 years, 10 months & 22 days ago 4th Feb 2010 23:31
 
Sad. Oh, and although some people may not call it a poem, sometimes it just helps to get your thoughts down. I know that; I did it recently when my uncle died from cancer. http://www.marapets.com/topics.php?id=2318929&fid=30
114 years, 10 months & 23 days ago 4th Feb 2010 19:25
 
JakeAnnalea
this kid in the poem resembles all poor kids that get abused.
114 years, 10 months & 23 days ago 4th Feb 2010 12:09
 
I know you tried to put it in stanza's, but its more like this:
(SOMEWHAT like this)

I once had a friend.
He moved away.

I remember swinging on the tire swing with him in kindergarten.
We had some memories.

I remember the day his daddy beat him,he told me.
We got through it together.
We had some memories.

I remember the day we swam in the creek,splashing around.
We had some memories.

I remember when you didn't come to school that day.
I had some memories.

I remember the day turned into a week,and you finally showed.
You were bruised and hurting.
We had some memories.

I remember your funeral.
I was crying.
Then I took a look at your short life with me.
I smiled and thought,we had some memories.

You moved to Heaven and someday I will be there with you.
114 years, 10 months & 24 days ago 3rd Feb 2010 18:27
 
JakeAnnalea
i will try.
114 years, 10 months & 24 days ago 3rd Feb 2010 18:03
 
???The poem had no emotion to me.
???To much repeating of "we had some memories"
???Follow lilly's advice and make stanzas
-=-
True the poem had emotion, but you can feel it through thew words in a way.
The repeat of "We had some memories" is what made it a poem.
And yes, you should make it into stanza's, which shouldn't be a problem.
114 years, 10 months & 24 days ago 3rd Feb 2010 13:29
 
JakeAnnalea
i tryed doing that.i like the poem the way it is.
114 years, 10 months & 24 days ago 3rd Feb 2010 09:43
 
???The poem had no emotion to me.
???To much repeating of "we had some memories"
???Follow lilly's advice and make stanzas
114 years, 10 months & 24 days ago 3rd Feb 2010 08:39
 
JakeAnnalea
114 years, 10 months & 24 days ago 2nd Feb 2010 20:21
 
114 years, 10 months & 24 days ago 2nd Feb 2010 20:08
 
  1. I love him more than you could imagine
    28th Jul 2010 00:57
    14 years, 5 months & 2 days ago
  2. My words
    22nd Apr 2010 12:54
    14 years, 8 months & 7 days ago
  3. ......
    20th Apr 2010 18:51
    14 years, 8 months & 9 days ago
  4. We had some memories
    2nd Feb 2010 14:06
    14 years, 10 months & 25 days ago