Lilla's Grammar Blog... Come, my Pretties!

*turns into teacher with evil grin*
Do as I say and you won't have to sit in a corner filled with spiders and evil gnomes. Now listen closely, class. When using the word YOUR you use it in the possesive form. Now WHO knows what possesive means? How about you, Billy?
*Billy starts to stammer* I-I-uh, don't know, Teacher.
THAT'S IT BILLY, GO TO THE CORNER.
Anyway, class, possesive means ownership. Such as YOUR dog or YOUR mom or YOUR sister.. Now we will learn about the contraction YOU'RE. It is an abbreviation for YOU ARE. You can say YOU'RE running or YOU'RE pretty or YOU'RE happy. *Susie raises her hand*
Teacher, may I use the bathroom?
NO!
Anyway, class, NEVER mess those two up. Don't say your so happy or your so pretty or your running. Say YOU'RE so happy, YOU'RE so pretty, or YOU'RE running. Now, moving on.
BILLY, STOP EATING THE EVIL GNOMES.
Now, for the words they're, there, and their.
THEIR is possesive. It means one person or a group of people own something. You can say THEIR car or THEIR mother.
THERE refers to the placement of an object or a person. You can say the dog is over THERE. Or the person went THERE.
You can't say the person went their.
Now for the word they're. It is a contraction for THEY ARE. You can say they're playing ball instead of they are playing ball. You can say THEY'RE pretty or THEY'RE hungry.
Not "there hungy," and not "their hungry,"
Now, for apostrophes.
*Teacher Lilla smiles deviously*
If anyone misplaces an apostrophe, you will be forced to eat my toe fungus. Apostrophes look like this--- '
Do not put apostrophes after an "S" just because you feel like it.
Do not say look at all the shoe's or look at those car's.
No,no, no. An apostrophe is used for OWNERSHIP. If an item belongs to one person, the apostrophe goes BEFORE the S. For example, I am only one person. If the headband is mine, it is Lilla's. If the headband belongs to more than one person, such as Lilla's friends, the apostrophe goes AFTER the S.
So it would be, "Lilla's friends' headband."
The apostrophe went before the S in Lilla because she is one person, but after the S in friends because they are more than one person.
Don't just randomly stick in apostrophes after any old "S." Did you understand that?
WHAT? YOU DIDN'T?
Toe fungus, be UNLEASHED!
Also.. DO NOT SAY "Me and Lilla had fun."
The correct way to say that is Lilla and *I* had fun.
Don't say Me and Lilla are going to the park.
Say Lilla and *I* are going to the park.
An easy way to remeber the difference between using 'me' and 'I' is by taking out the other person's name. For example, if the sentence is, Me and Lilla had fun, take away the 'and Lilla'.
It says 'Me had fun.'
Does that make sense? No, it makes sense to say * I * had fun.
Another example: Me and Lilla went to the store. Take out the 'and Lilla'.
Does it make sense to say 'Me went to the store?' No, it doesn't.
Even if the sentence reads, 'Lilla and I are playing' it is still correct. When you take out the 'Lilla and' it says, "I are playing." BUT since 'are' is a state of being, it's okay to use because the sentence is not in singular form and it involves two or more people.
If someone asks you a question, such as "Who is here?"
You can say Lilla and ME.
Because if you take out the 'Lilla and' it leaves ME. If someone asked, "Who's here?" you wouldn't respond,
I !
You would respond,
Me!
Are you getting tired of Lilla's grammar lesson?
TOO BAD.
If you are, then go eat your foot.
Mmmm, feet.
I could go on and on, but my fingers are tired from typing.
*fingers fall off*
Oh no..
*my cat eats them*
The reason I made this whole grammar blog is because I am SICK of people using incorrect grammar on the internet and thoughout mara.
I am not an English teacher or an adult, I am a 15 girl.. I just happen to know how to correctly use grammar. I also know how to SPELL!
Oh, don't get me started on spelling....